These are the words to one of my favorite songs. And tonight they are a most needful reminder to me of where I do need to go with all the burdens I cannot bear. Because they really do feel unbearable at times. Like last night. My mind was a frenzied whirlwind, utterly unfixed upon the promises of God. Though I prayed a little here and there amidst such thoughts and "tried" to set my mind and heart on things above, instead of the things here on earth...I certainly did not try very hard. I was quick to give up and give in. Oh, how I long to learn to discipline my thoughts and emotions. It feels like a constant roller coaster of reigning them in, bringing them captive to Christ, and then just as quickly experiencing the abrupt effects of the "drop" - it really is like a roller coaster (which by the way, I think of as one of the most dreadful things to experience in life, which is why the analogy will probably seem totally ridiculous to many who love the thrill of such contraptions!).
The point is, like a roller coaster, I am on this "high" where my mind is stayed upon Christ, and then without any warning, it all falls out from underneath me and my mind is consumed by worries about temporal matters. I heard a tremendous sermon by a wise young man the other night, and he described this outrageously beautiful picture of Christ, in which he said that nothing else matters but Christ - yet, within hours after hearing it, I sinfully chose to forgo my thoughts of Christ and began to become overwhelmed thinking about all my responsibilities, how I will find time for all that I must do in the next couple of months, how I miss spending precious times of fellowship with friends because we are all too busy or live so far from one another, how I feel like I do so many things but do nothing well because I am barely holding it all together, wondering what the future holds, contemplating if it's time to move on from some things and pursue something different, wishing I could be a mother, being frustrated that I struggle with the same sins over and over...clearly, allowing my thoughts to go wildly uncontrolled. This led to a sleepless night, one in which I awoke several times, laying awake for hours, only to get up this morning feeling exhausted and disappointed in myself.
In all these things, God is most gracious, is He not? I made it through the day, I didn't have any emotional distress, and I was able to accomplish more than I thought I would when I first awoke to such defeated thoughts. His mercies truly are new every morning, and are just enough to be measured for each day - even moment by moment. He is so good to me! How I love Him! I love that even though I still don't feel like many issues were resolved, there are many remaining frustrations and disappointments - both in myself and in others - I am grateful to be reminded that those feelings hold no significance in the light of God's plans and purposes for my life. My feelings are ever-deceiving and always seeking to promote myself. When I become jealous that there seems to be little opportunity for me to rest or enjoy some frivolities of this life, I can be certain there is no truth in those feelings. When I get discouraged by the way I think others treat me, or by the sin I see in their own lives, I can rest assured there is no validity to it. My flesh has trained me to interpret things as being deserved or undeserved. I have exalted myself and my feelings. I love that God, in Christ Jesus, has already covered all these ridiculously sinful notions in His forgiving grace. I love that even though I don't remember these things oftentimes, He remembers for me. And He is merciful to keep me from sinning worse than I do, because left to myself, I am sure these feelings and contemplations could lead to horrific actions and attitudes that would ruin my testimony and certainly be a discouragement to others. He truly covers my sin and my shame.
Back to the song. "Since you brought dead ones to life...I know You can do that with mine...so I come to You with my broken heart in my hands. I come to You with an anxious and troubled mind...Just like You did to the sea...I know that You will bring peace. I ask, I seek, and knock...that the door will be opened. I come to You with the burdens I cannot bear...Your yoke is easy so I, can trade them for one that is light. So I come to You with the burdens I cannot bear. I come to You with a life that I do not own. The door to Your kingdom is great, and You gave Your own life away...that the door will be opened."
Lord, teach me to come to You with the burdens I cannot bear, to cast them at the foot of the cross, where all things have been made new, and You have reconciled me to Yourself in all ways, so that no burden is heavy.
Showing posts with label sin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sin. Show all posts
Monday, June 14, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Not much to say...
Recent days have brought about distractions as I transition from some major responsibilities of life to some new ventures for a time. This transition is exciting and welcomed, though not without some trepidation. As I contemplate my fitness for the task that lies ahead, I am quickly downcast and despairing - if I listen to the accusations of the enemy. Sometimes there are things we want so badly in life, and we pray and pursue with great fervency. But then when we finally get the thing we so desperately desired, we suddenly aren't sure if we want it anymore. Not because it has lost its value, but because the reality of getting it sets in and we begin to realize how it might change us...or worse yet, how it might require us to be changed through challenging and sanctifying circumstances.
The great Scottish preacher, Robert Murray M'Cheyne, said this: "It has always been my aim, and it is my prayer, to have no plans with regard to myself, well assured as I am, that the place where the Savior sees meet to place me must ever be the best place for me."
One thing I have learned by experience as a woman, is that we tend to dislike change. And we tend to have our own agenda and schedule, with a neat little planner to match, and coordinating post-it notes to keep everything organized. Of course, not all women are planners. But most of us have some variation of planning/organization interests and skill. I would even go so far as to say that this tendency may stem from our creation design, as God has used this quality as one of woman's primary means of blessing man as his helper.
Looking back at Eve's fall into sin, and the resulting impact that has had on all of mankind, I would also say that this one area where woman is most gifted, is certainly also an area in which she is the most likely to have her depravity manifested. Do we not take our planning and administrating abilities to the extremes of dominating, ruling over and even criticizing men? We allow the good of how God has created us to become the very means by which we can bring the most frustration and difficulty in our relationships. We know that one of the critical created elements of a woman's role is to be submissive. This role often meets with failure because we are unwilling to let go of ouyr demands. We demand to know what's going on. We demand to be informed about plans and decisions. We demand to be aware of the plans for the week and the meals we will prepare. We don't like operating on the fly, being flexible and easygoing. And typically, our angry and impatient responses reveal a heart that has plotted and planned according to a selfish will.
What is the solution to such matters? To be as Robert Murray M'Cheyne and remind ourselves that nothing is according to our human will. The Bible says that a man plans his ways, but God is the One who directs His steps. So while it is important to be orderly and thoughtful with the time and resources God has given us, we must remember that anything we do is the direct result of the perfect will of our Heavenly Father. He is the One guiding our every step and removing obstacles or opening windows of opportunity. It is He who determines our plans, and there are no regrets. Where He sees fit to place us is His divine and holy will.
The great Scottish preacher, Robert Murray M'Cheyne, said this: "It has always been my aim, and it is my prayer, to have no plans with regard to myself, well assured as I am, that the place where the Savior sees meet to place me must ever be the best place for me."
One thing I have learned by experience as a woman, is that we tend to dislike change. And we tend to have our own agenda and schedule, with a neat little planner to match, and coordinating post-it notes to keep everything organized. Of course, not all women are planners. But most of us have some variation of planning/organization interests and skill. I would even go so far as to say that this tendency may stem from our creation design, as God has used this quality as one of woman's primary means of blessing man as his helper.
Looking back at Eve's fall into sin, and the resulting impact that has had on all of mankind, I would also say that this one area where woman is most gifted, is certainly also an area in which she is the most likely to have her depravity manifested. Do we not take our planning and administrating abilities to the extremes of dominating, ruling over and even criticizing men? We allow the good of how God has created us to become the very means by which we can bring the most frustration and difficulty in our relationships. We know that one of the critical created elements of a woman's role is to be submissive. This role often meets with failure because we are unwilling to let go of ouyr demands. We demand to know what's going on. We demand to be informed about plans and decisions. We demand to be aware of the plans for the week and the meals we will prepare. We don't like operating on the fly, being flexible and easygoing. And typically, our angry and impatient responses reveal a heart that has plotted and planned according to a selfish will.
What is the solution to such matters? To be as Robert Murray M'Cheyne and remind ourselves that nothing is according to our human will. The Bible says that a man plans his ways, but God is the One who directs His steps. So while it is important to be orderly and thoughtful with the time and resources God has given us, we must remember that anything we do is the direct result of the perfect will of our Heavenly Father. He is the One guiding our every step and removing obstacles or opening windows of opportunity. It is He who determines our plans, and there are no regrets. Where He sees fit to place us is His divine and holy will.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Motives for righteousness
Something I have been contemplating a great deal in recent days is to discern my motives for doing things. It is an important thing for the Christian to think about, as we know that it is God who searches and knows our hearts. Only He can fully determine if there are any wicked ways within us. Then the next critical question is to determine whether we continue doing those things once we recognize that our motives may have been wrong. The more complex consideration is when those things we do are good things - like serving and caring for others. We care for each other's children, clean and cook for our families, sing in the choir, volunteer long hours in the nursery, teach a Sunday School class, disciple young people, plan church outreach activities, travel on mission trips around the world, giving money to our church, making meals for those who are ill, and the list goes on and on. Are not these all things that have been commanded in Scripture, as we seek to live out the call to be Christ's disciples by caring for the weak and meeting the needs of the brethren? So if they are good things, what should our response be when we discover that our motives have been tainted by sinful affections? Maybe we are trying to make a good impression on others sometimes. Possibly we are avoiding dealing with a personal area of our own lives by filling up our time with "busy good deeds". And what complicates such matters is when they are coupled with a sincere desire to serve Christ's Bride, the Church. Loving the local body of believers is a good and proper motivation for serving others. But more necessary is a love for Christ Himself, knowing that we are His servants and belong to Him.
So back to the original question - do we continue doing works of righteousness even when we know that our motives are not entirely Christlike and pure? A well-known theologian, John Gerstner, said this: "The thing that really separates us from God is not so much our sin, but our damnable good works". When we do good things - for others, for the Church, or even for God - and are motivated by any thought of gaining favorable standing, then we have certainly missed the mark and allowed sinful assumptions to captivate our minds and hearts. We have moved from being led by the humility of Christ to being provoked by hopes of increasing our self-worth. It is these works that then become a source of judgment upon our own souls rather than an active living out of our transformed hearts. A believer should be motivated by the joy found in Christ as the source of all pleasure and provision. Any holiness or righteousness we exhibit must be recognized as an "alien" quality that has only been cultivated in our hearts by the powerful inner workings of our great and mighty God! It is in these truths that we find our answer. YES, we do continue pressing on in righteous duty even if our hearts are tainted by sinful motivations. Tim Chester says, "There will be times when we do act out of duty, but we do this believing that duty leads to joy, that denying ourselves leads to gaining our life (Mark 8:35-36)". As we obey and continue to seek out opportunities to serve others, meeting needs and helping, then we will experience joy in it. And as we recognize sinful motives that might be hindering us from that true joy then we can and must be quick to repent of them and turn to Christ for renewed purity and passion in sacrificially serving His Church.
So back to the original question - do we continue doing works of righteousness even when we know that our motives are not entirely Christlike and pure? A well-known theologian, John Gerstner, said this: "The thing that really separates us from God is not so much our sin, but our damnable good works". When we do good things - for others, for the Church, or even for God - and are motivated by any thought of gaining favorable standing, then we have certainly missed the mark and allowed sinful assumptions to captivate our minds and hearts. We have moved from being led by the humility of Christ to being provoked by hopes of increasing our self-worth. It is these works that then become a source of judgment upon our own souls rather than an active living out of our transformed hearts. A believer should be motivated by the joy found in Christ as the source of all pleasure and provision. Any holiness or righteousness we exhibit must be recognized as an "alien" quality that has only been cultivated in our hearts by the powerful inner workings of our great and mighty God! It is in these truths that we find our answer. YES, we do continue pressing on in righteous duty even if our hearts are tainted by sinful motivations. Tim Chester says, "There will be times when we do act out of duty, but we do this believing that duty leads to joy, that denying ourselves leads to gaining our life (Mark 8:35-36)". As we obey and continue to seek out opportunities to serve others, meeting needs and helping, then we will experience joy in it. And as we recognize sinful motives that might be hindering us from that true joy then we can and must be quick to repent of them and turn to Christ for renewed purity and passion in sacrificially serving His Church.
Friday, April 30, 2010
And such were some of you...
In recent years, the evangelical world has seen a number of well-respected figures fall from their thrones of influence. Pastors have been caught in adulterous affairs, TV evangelists has been accused of swindling thousands of dollars from faithful viewers, Christian stars have left their spouses for another lover (or even for many reasons that are not biblical grounds for divorce) and then remarried...and now beloved recording artists have confessed to living an "alternative" lifestyle. I have been pondering this post for several days, and still am uncertain as to whether I have allowed it to settle soundly enough in my mind. I do not want my speech to be hasty or overly judgmental. However, I think it is imperative that the Church (meaning those who are sincere believers in the Lordship of Jesus Christ and who have repented of their sin and turned to Him in complete faith) do take a position on such matters. Why? Because we are commanded to take a stand on the issue of sin...both in our personal lives and in the lives of others who name themselves as Christians. It is not my obligation to judge those who do not confess Christ as Savior, for they will be judged by God the Father Himself at the great white throne. But the Bible clearly tells us that we must lovingly "judge" one another within the Church by providing accountability and clarity when we see issues of sin manifested in one another's lives. In fact, chapter 5 of 1st Corinthians tells us that we are to judge within the Church concerning sexual immorality and to purge from the Church those who are unrepentant. We must deal swiftly and biblically with sin in our personal lives and with the sins that affect the body of Christ corporately.
Unfortunately, by taking a stand on such issues, I will most likely be labeled as unloving, prejudicial, arrogant and self-righteous. The verse, "let him without sin cast the first stone," inevitably becomes the battle cry against Christians who speak biblical truth in the face of such behaviors. Yet it is my Christian love which compels me to write. My love for Christ demands that I love His Word and love others that He has created - and in that love, I must call them to repentance so that they may be reconciled to the Savior. Is it not precious and faithful love that has been lavished upon me when a fellow brother or sister in Christ has graciously pointed out my sins and calls me to repentance? Sometimes I am so blind to my own deceitful ways that it takes the bold and yet compassionate admonitions of a Christian friend to draw me back into a clear understanding of God and His ways. The Christian life is rooted in perseverance, and we clearly depend on one another in order to persevere. Yes, God is the One who holds my soul in the palm of His hand, but He often uses fellow Christians to point my soul back to Him.
Thankfully, in God's providence, He has brought me to a church in which the love and forgiveness of Christ is seen on a consistent basis, as wayward members are welcomed back into fellowship upon their repentance and restoration. It is a joyful time when a brother or sister has come to recognize their sinful ways and then seeks to be reconciled to God and those in the Church. I have personally experienced this when I have been confronted of sins observed in my own life, but am always reminded of the love that the one confronting has for me and that their desire is for my eternal welfare. When an adulterous man has sought forgiveness and true biblical restoration, it has been granted. When a rebellious young adult who has lashed out against her family, returns in love and sorrow over her sin, she is welcomed just as the prodigal son. When I am unloving, bitter or thoughtless in my attitudes toward others, my church family is often eager to extend mercy and forgiveness.
Regarding the issue of sexual sin, and specifically, homosexuality, I would be a liar to say that Christians typically approach this issue with love and graciousness. Anyone who truly understands the grace that has been granted them in Christ Jesus would be eager to extend such compassion and mercy. We are often quick to lay down accusations filled with arrogance and pride. However, just because some in the Church do not deal with the fornicator, adulterer, or liar with Christ-exalting humility, does not mean that we lay aside God's Word altogether and allow sin to reign freely.
One of the most beautiful and obvious examples of Christian love that calls one out of sin is found in the dialogue between Christ and the woman at the well. Here, Christ confronted the woman with the fact that she had numerous husbands, explained to her the way of eternal life, and then told her to "go and sin no more". He loved her and so He told her the truth about herself. He did not offer her a salvation that was free for her own interpretation, as we so often do. The grace was freely given, but a manifestation of true faith was that the woman responded in obedience. There is no such thing as truth if it is not absolute, so saying that truth is whatever I make it to be or interpret it as, makes my "truth" merely an opinion. Jennifer Knapp, like all of us when we live in the deceitfulness of the sinful flesh, is seeking to measure her faith by experience instead of by God's Word. She has become her own source of authority instead of God being her authority. Therefore, her truth has become relative.
May we be quick, believers, to lovingly and gently call out the sin of a Christian brother or sister. But may we be even quicker to examine our own sinful hearts and "lay aside every weight which so easily entangles". May the Lord use such things to keep His Bride (the Church) pure and undefiled. May He show mercy and wisdom to Jennifer Knapp, and the many like her, who are so driven by emotion and experience, and bring them to a proper understanding of His Word, interpreting it as it is and not for how we would like for it to be. And may He be gracious to us all, for He is coming for us one day, and that may be very soon. May we be anticipating that day, preparing ourselves as the Bride does for the Bridegroom, without spot or blemish, and savoring Christ in all things.
"But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. They said to you, 'In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.' It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt, save others by snatching them out of the fire, to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh" (Jude 17-23).
Unfortunately, by taking a stand on such issues, I will most likely be labeled as unloving, prejudicial, arrogant and self-righteous. The verse, "let him without sin cast the first stone," inevitably becomes the battle cry against Christians who speak biblical truth in the face of such behaviors. Yet it is my Christian love which compels me to write. My love for Christ demands that I love His Word and love others that He has created - and in that love, I must call them to repentance so that they may be reconciled to the Savior. Is it not precious and faithful love that has been lavished upon me when a fellow brother or sister in Christ has graciously pointed out my sins and calls me to repentance? Sometimes I am so blind to my own deceitful ways that it takes the bold and yet compassionate admonitions of a Christian friend to draw me back into a clear understanding of God and His ways. The Christian life is rooted in perseverance, and we clearly depend on one another in order to persevere. Yes, God is the One who holds my soul in the palm of His hand, but He often uses fellow Christians to point my soul back to Him.
Thankfully, in God's providence, He has brought me to a church in which the love and forgiveness of Christ is seen on a consistent basis, as wayward members are welcomed back into fellowship upon their repentance and restoration. It is a joyful time when a brother or sister has come to recognize their sinful ways and then seeks to be reconciled to God and those in the Church. I have personally experienced this when I have been confronted of sins observed in my own life, but am always reminded of the love that the one confronting has for me and that their desire is for my eternal welfare. When an adulterous man has sought forgiveness and true biblical restoration, it has been granted. When a rebellious young adult who has lashed out against her family, returns in love and sorrow over her sin, she is welcomed just as the prodigal son. When I am unloving, bitter or thoughtless in my attitudes toward others, my church family is often eager to extend mercy and forgiveness.
Regarding the issue of sexual sin, and specifically, homosexuality, I would be a liar to say that Christians typically approach this issue with love and graciousness. Anyone who truly understands the grace that has been granted them in Christ Jesus would be eager to extend such compassion and mercy. We are often quick to lay down accusations filled with arrogance and pride. However, just because some in the Church do not deal with the fornicator, adulterer, or liar with Christ-exalting humility, does not mean that we lay aside God's Word altogether and allow sin to reign freely.
One of the most beautiful and obvious examples of Christian love that calls one out of sin is found in the dialogue between Christ and the woman at the well. Here, Christ confronted the woman with the fact that she had numerous husbands, explained to her the way of eternal life, and then told her to "go and sin no more". He loved her and so He told her the truth about herself. He did not offer her a salvation that was free for her own interpretation, as we so often do. The grace was freely given, but a manifestation of true faith was that the woman responded in obedience. There is no such thing as truth if it is not absolute, so saying that truth is whatever I make it to be or interpret it as, makes my "truth" merely an opinion. Jennifer Knapp, like all of us when we live in the deceitfulness of the sinful flesh, is seeking to measure her faith by experience instead of by God's Word. She has become her own source of authority instead of God being her authority. Therefore, her truth has become relative.
May we be quick, believers, to lovingly and gently call out the sin of a Christian brother or sister. But may we be even quicker to examine our own sinful hearts and "lay aside every weight which so easily entangles". May the Lord use such things to keep His Bride (the Church) pure and undefiled. May He show mercy and wisdom to Jennifer Knapp, and the many like her, who are so driven by emotion and experience, and bring them to a proper understanding of His Word, interpreting it as it is and not for how we would like for it to be. And may He be gracious to us all, for He is coming for us one day, and that may be very soon. May we be anticipating that day, preparing ourselves as the Bride does for the Bridegroom, without spot or blemish, and savoring Christ in all things.
"But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. They said to you, 'In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.' It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt, save others by snatching them out of the fire, to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh" (Jude 17-23).
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Contrasting between God and man
My posting has been rather sparse this month, as I am in the midst of some very hectic times, as well as some pivotal self-reflection. However, as I was driving home tonight, the Lord was so good to use a favorite song to point out the vast divide between His glorious and perfect character and my fleshly, self-inflated character. One of my favorite songs on the Gateway Worship album is "You are Good," and as I was listening to it with the windows down on a beautiful evening, here is what stood out to me:
"Your kindness is forever...Your goodness if forever...Your mercy is forever." How different from God I truly am, and how I long to attain more diligently the character of His Son, Christ Jesus. My kindness is so limited by whether others treat me kindly. Was not Christ's kindness always perfect and filled with compassion to those around Him? And yet I find it difficult to be kind even for a moment sometimes. I become easily annoyed and frustrated with people when they don't do things my way, and I take their disobedience or mistreatments more as a personal offense instead of being righteously concerned about how they might be sinning against the Lord. My goodness is often hindered by selfish motives, prideful pursuits for attention and vain glory. Christ was always filled with a goodness that was concerned only with His Father receiving all the honor and praise. And my mercy is so restrained by the evil unforgiveness that remains deep within my heart. Christ told the woman at the well all of her sin, and yet was so eager to spread His loving wings over her, calling her to repentance and yet doing so in a manner of biblical affection. Even my best acts of love towards others are tainted by my inner desire to be loved and affirmed.
Lord, teach me to be kind in the ways You are kind. Train me to be filled with goodness, a righteous goodness that is not of this world. Mold me to be merciful, remembering the sins of others no more and being quick to extend an arm of sweet unity in the body.
"Your kindness is forever...Your goodness if forever...Your mercy is forever." How different from God I truly am, and how I long to attain more diligently the character of His Son, Christ Jesus. My kindness is so limited by whether others treat me kindly. Was not Christ's kindness always perfect and filled with compassion to those around Him? And yet I find it difficult to be kind even for a moment sometimes. I become easily annoyed and frustrated with people when they don't do things my way, and I take their disobedience or mistreatments more as a personal offense instead of being righteously concerned about how they might be sinning against the Lord. My goodness is often hindered by selfish motives, prideful pursuits for attention and vain glory. Christ was always filled with a goodness that was concerned only with His Father receiving all the honor and praise. And my mercy is so restrained by the evil unforgiveness that remains deep within my heart. Christ told the woman at the well all of her sin, and yet was so eager to spread His loving wings over her, calling her to repentance and yet doing so in a manner of biblical affection. Even my best acts of love towards others are tainted by my inner desire to be loved and affirmed.
Lord, teach me to be kind in the ways You are kind. Train me to be filled with goodness, a righteous goodness that is not of this world. Mold me to be merciful, remembering the sins of others no more and being quick to extend an arm of sweet unity in the body.
Friday, March 26, 2010
This uncertain life...
Most everyone in my immediate circle of life has heard the news that my mother has been diagnosed with cancer. We don't know much yet about the treatment plan, but are hopefully optimistic that it won't be too bad since it was caught in very early stages. It's funny how quickly that becomes THE topic of conversation - people are shocked, concerned, prayerful, generously desirous to help, eager to give opinions and information, wondering what the future holds...all things that I feel like I am supposed to engage in as well. But I really haven't very much. Maybe it's because my mom's own response to it has been so peaceful and calming. There were no sobs, no weakened demeanor, no doubting panic, no questioning of the Lord's wisdom in it all. She loves Christ and she loves Him more than anything or anyone else.
A blog I frequent by another young woman who is studying biblical counseling, is facing the reality of her father's kidney failure and shared this clip from a letter he wrote to her after finding out his diagnosis: "Uncertainty is a gift because it causes us to look to the only source of real certainty … to the God of all grace who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and is the giver of every good and perfect gift (Js. 1:18). Who is a loving and wise Father who always knows what’s best for his children. Who knows the future and promises out of his wisdom and sovereignty to cause all things to work together for the good to those who love him (Rom. 8:28) and whose will is described as good and acceptable and perfect (Rom. 12:1-2). Who brings trials and uncertainty into our lives that we might learn to trust his wisdom and goodness rather than our own foolishness and finiteness. Who holds the future securely in his omnipotent hands. So while the specifics of the future may be uncertain, the reality is that the BIG THINGS are absolutely certain. My heavenly Father is merciful and gracious and wise and good. How much more certainty does one need??? I can see how God has prepared me for this journey by teaching me to trust in much smaller things through the years of learning to walk by faith. And by his grace I have come to deeply trust my heavenly Father to do what’s best."
WOW! What a blessing to be reared by such faithful and persevering parents. There really is nothing certain in this life. But what is most certain is that I am a redeemed daughter of the Most High God. And the precious fact is that my mother is too. Her final outcome in life is assured. She has been a sweet and selfless slave to her Savior all of her Christian days. She knows the truth that her faith is not something she merely embraced at a point in her past, but it is a daily act of laying down her life for the sake of His Kingdom, seeking to obey His Word...all of it, not simply the things that are easy or convenient. This is biblical womanhood. My most earnest prayer in this situation is that others will see her faithfulness and know that it is genuine, and in seeing that will recognize the absence of it in their own lives, causing them to examine what they are really living for. Living for success or love on this earth are of absolutely no eternal value. It is only to be a successful child of God and to know His perfect love that matter exclusively. It is common to say that true love means learning to love yourself. My mom loves herself least. We are born loving ourselves, always seeking to please self - we don't need to learn how to love ourselves better. We must learn to love ourselves less and love Christ most! Whatever happens in these days of uncertainty, it is His love alone that is always secure and certain.
A blog I frequent by another young woman who is studying biblical counseling, is facing the reality of her father's kidney failure and shared this clip from a letter he wrote to her after finding out his diagnosis: "Uncertainty is a gift because it causes us to look to the only source of real certainty … to the God of all grace who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and is the giver of every good and perfect gift (Js. 1:18). Who is a loving and wise Father who always knows what’s best for his children. Who knows the future and promises out of his wisdom and sovereignty to cause all things to work together for the good to those who love him (Rom. 8:28) and whose will is described as good and acceptable and perfect (Rom. 12:1-2). Who brings trials and uncertainty into our lives that we might learn to trust his wisdom and goodness rather than our own foolishness and finiteness. Who holds the future securely in his omnipotent hands. So while the specifics of the future may be uncertain, the reality is that the BIG THINGS are absolutely certain. My heavenly Father is merciful and gracious and wise and good. How much more certainty does one need??? I can see how God has prepared me for this journey by teaching me to trust in much smaller things through the years of learning to walk by faith. And by his grace I have come to deeply trust my heavenly Father to do what’s best."
WOW! What a blessing to be reared by such faithful and persevering parents. There really is nothing certain in this life. But what is most certain is that I am a redeemed daughter of the Most High God. And the precious fact is that my mother is too. Her final outcome in life is assured. She has been a sweet and selfless slave to her Savior all of her Christian days. She knows the truth that her faith is not something she merely embraced at a point in her past, but it is a daily act of laying down her life for the sake of His Kingdom, seeking to obey His Word...all of it, not simply the things that are easy or convenient. This is biblical womanhood. My most earnest prayer in this situation is that others will see her faithfulness and know that it is genuine, and in seeing that will recognize the absence of it in their own lives, causing them to examine what they are really living for. Living for success or love on this earth are of absolutely no eternal value. It is only to be a successful child of God and to know His perfect love that matter exclusively. It is common to say that true love means learning to love yourself. My mom loves herself least. We are born loving ourselves, always seeking to please self - we don't need to learn how to love ourselves better. We must learn to love ourselves less and love Christ most! Whatever happens in these days of uncertainty, it is His love alone that is always secure and certain.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Thankfulness
In recent days I have been reflecting on my tendencies to become discouraged by the difficulties of life. I have experienced the ups and downs of life's challenges, particularly spiritual challenges. It is so easy to become downcast, or even just numb to the realities of life because we are overcome at times by periods of profound discouragement. We then become so tired of it all, we seek out ways to just make it through the day, going through the motions and then we retreat to our homes or rooms hoping to escape it all. We stop engaging in meaningful conversations, we avoid having to deal with the ongoing challenges of our personal responsibilities and obligations because we just feel like throwing in the towel. I am writing this during a time in which I don't feel this way. However, God has been good to remind me in these days that a season like that is certainly only around the corner, as the ebb and flow of life always comes back around eventually to such a time.
So how do we deal with the times when circumstances overwhelm us? How do we build ourselves up, being mindful of the kind providences of God even amidst such difficult days? How do we press on even when nothing changes and we feel like things will never get better? Maybe it would be helpful first to ponder what we should not do. I may not know much, but I have learned in my own failures what does not work.
1) Escapism - pulling it together long enough to make it through the day or event and then coming home and just wanting to get away from it all. Instead of falling on my knees, taking the opportunity of my own discouragement as a means to draw near to the Lord over and over, pleading with Him to teach me and guide me through it, I look for ways to escape and not have to think about anything. For me sometimes this means I will look for almost anything to occupy my time so that I can avoid thinking about what's happening. I watch a movie, I go shopping, I even resort to cleaning:) Obviously none of these things are wrong, but one particular mercy of the Lord in my life these past couple of years is not having cable. Because of that alone, I have been forced on many occasions to sit down and let the Lord deal with me in my discouragement. I have had no choice, all other options have been eliminated - and I have ended up the better for it every time. I used to come home after a long day and just want to sit down and "chill" in front of the screen. But this never presses me on in allowing seasons of trial and discouragement to become a source of very precious refinement in the Lord. Piper calls this rampant trifling: "One of the great diseases of our day is trifling. The things with which most people spend most of their time are trivial. And what makes this a disease is that we were meant to live for magnificent causes. None of us is really content with the trivial pursuits of the world. Our souls will never be satisfied with trifles. We live in the Swiss village but stare at the wooden figurines in the window rather than lifting our eyes to the 'everlasting snows'. We live in a perpetual and hopeless struggle to satisfy our longings on trifles. So our souls shrivel. Our lives become trivial. And our capacity for magnificent causes and great worship dies."
2) Complaining - just drowning myself in the pities of my present circumstances. Sometimes I may not verbally complain in a way that brings others attention to it, but my countenance and my attitudes certainly evidence it. I withdraw from others - or at least from any meaningful discussions with them, I give a downcast and tired appearance, everything becomes just one more thing I have to do, causing people to think any request has now become an added burden. But I have clearly forgotten - has not God called me to "spend and be spent" as Paul was? I have noticed this tendency particularly in recent months while in graduate school, working full-time, tending to ministry responsibilities and so on. I end up complaining that I just never have time for myself or time to relax. Well, where do I find any argument in Scripture that teaches that I deserve breaks? Furthermore, in thinking this way, I have chosen to forget all the blessings God has given me. More on that further below...
3) Blameshifting - looking around at all the injustices being done against me, how people are not treating me the way I think they should be or even how I know biblically they should be. The problem here is that I am not looking to my responsibility in the matter at all. I am not seeing the dark days as a time to examine myself and really understand ways in which I am not being faithful to my calling and responsibilities in this life. I am so focused on what everyone else is doing wrong, I have overlooked what the Lord might be trying to prune me of.
So how should I respond instead?
1)Intentionally choosing gratitude and thankfulness. How often do I focus on all that is not going well, or all that I think is lacking in my life? How many times this year have I been able to go on vacations and weekend getaways to visit with special friends and family, had sweet times of fellowship with dear friends over dinner, been given a warm home to live in, a reliable car to drive, TIME to read the Bible and know God more intimately (which I often choose to forgo and instead entertain myself because I need to "escape reality"), a church in which there are many evidences of God's abundant presence in growing people, an income that does allow me to enjoy moments of fun and relaxation, health that has been sustained allowing me to not only carry on in this life but to do it to the fullest...the list goes on and on. But more than all those things...I have Christ! I am in a personal relationship with Him, having access to the graces of redemption!I have been freed from the damning shackles of sin and sent to do His work for His glory. It is all about Him and not about me.
2)Rejoicing in the role God has given me. He has chosen to use me, a piddly clay pot, and I am His slave. That means my life is not mine to dictate how it should go. My life belongs to Him and it is in Him that I find any meaning at all. When things don't look the way I think they should or how I would like for them to, I must remember that it is His purposes that are being accomplished in my life and the lives of those around me, in whatever ways He chooses to accomplish them.
Piper says, "The Bible is replete with instances of saints struggling with sunken spirits. Psalm 19:7 says,'The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul'. This is a clear admission that the soul of the saint sometimes needs to be revived. And if it needs to be revived, in a sense it was 'dead'. The soul of the 'man after God's own heart' needs to be restored. It was dying of thirst and ready to fall exhausted, but God led the soul to water and gave it life again. Faith in future grace takes the promises of God and throws them against despondency. The lesson of Gethsemane and Calvary and the book of Psalms is that all the dark caves of despondency are really tunnels leading to the fields of joy."
So, dear friend, if you are in a season of discouragement or despondency, take heart: the Lord your God is near to you, He is calling you to Himself even now, and you must flee to Him. Do not turn to the distractions of this world, do not sink into frustration and despair, but be thankful! Thank the Lord for allowing such a time to test and refine you for greater service to Him.
Again, from Piper, come these words of reflection: "God wants us to know that when we follow Him, our lives always mean more than we think they do. For the Christian there is always a connection between the ordinary [and even frustrating or disheartening] events of life and the stupendous work of God in history. Everything we do in obedience to God, no matter how small, is significant. It is part of a cosmic mosaic that God is painting to display the greatness of His power and wisdom to the world and to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places (Eph. 3:10). A deep satisfaction of the Christian life is that we are not given over to trifles. Serving a widowed mother-in-law, gleaning in a field, falling in love, having a baby - for the Christian these things are all connected to eternity. They are part of something so much bigger than they seem."
So how do we deal with the times when circumstances overwhelm us? How do we build ourselves up, being mindful of the kind providences of God even amidst such difficult days? How do we press on even when nothing changes and we feel like things will never get better? Maybe it would be helpful first to ponder what we should not do. I may not know much, but I have learned in my own failures what does not work.
1) Escapism - pulling it together long enough to make it through the day or event and then coming home and just wanting to get away from it all. Instead of falling on my knees, taking the opportunity of my own discouragement as a means to draw near to the Lord over and over, pleading with Him to teach me and guide me through it, I look for ways to escape and not have to think about anything. For me sometimes this means I will look for almost anything to occupy my time so that I can avoid thinking about what's happening. I watch a movie, I go shopping, I even resort to cleaning:) Obviously none of these things are wrong, but one particular mercy of the Lord in my life these past couple of years is not having cable. Because of that alone, I have been forced on many occasions to sit down and let the Lord deal with me in my discouragement. I have had no choice, all other options have been eliminated - and I have ended up the better for it every time. I used to come home after a long day and just want to sit down and "chill" in front of the screen. But this never presses me on in allowing seasons of trial and discouragement to become a source of very precious refinement in the Lord. Piper calls this rampant trifling: "One of the great diseases of our day is trifling. The things with which most people spend most of their time are trivial. And what makes this a disease is that we were meant to live for magnificent causes. None of us is really content with the trivial pursuits of the world. Our souls will never be satisfied with trifles. We live in the Swiss village but stare at the wooden figurines in the window rather than lifting our eyes to the 'everlasting snows'. We live in a perpetual and hopeless struggle to satisfy our longings on trifles. So our souls shrivel. Our lives become trivial. And our capacity for magnificent causes and great worship dies."
2) Complaining - just drowning myself in the pities of my present circumstances. Sometimes I may not verbally complain in a way that brings others attention to it, but my countenance and my attitudes certainly evidence it. I withdraw from others - or at least from any meaningful discussions with them, I give a downcast and tired appearance, everything becomes just one more thing I have to do, causing people to think any request has now become an added burden. But I have clearly forgotten - has not God called me to "spend and be spent" as Paul was? I have noticed this tendency particularly in recent months while in graduate school, working full-time, tending to ministry responsibilities and so on. I end up complaining that I just never have time for myself or time to relax. Well, where do I find any argument in Scripture that teaches that I deserve breaks? Furthermore, in thinking this way, I have chosen to forget all the blessings God has given me. More on that further below...
3) Blameshifting - looking around at all the injustices being done against me, how people are not treating me the way I think they should be or even how I know biblically they should be. The problem here is that I am not looking to my responsibility in the matter at all. I am not seeing the dark days as a time to examine myself and really understand ways in which I am not being faithful to my calling and responsibilities in this life. I am so focused on what everyone else is doing wrong, I have overlooked what the Lord might be trying to prune me of.
So how should I respond instead?
1)Intentionally choosing gratitude and thankfulness. How often do I focus on all that is not going well, or all that I think is lacking in my life? How many times this year have I been able to go on vacations and weekend getaways to visit with special friends and family, had sweet times of fellowship with dear friends over dinner, been given a warm home to live in, a reliable car to drive, TIME to read the Bible and know God more intimately (which I often choose to forgo and instead entertain myself because I need to "escape reality"), a church in which there are many evidences of God's abundant presence in growing people, an income that does allow me to enjoy moments of fun and relaxation, health that has been sustained allowing me to not only carry on in this life but to do it to the fullest...the list goes on and on. But more than all those things...I have Christ! I am in a personal relationship with Him, having access to the graces of redemption!I have been freed from the damning shackles of sin and sent to do His work for His glory. It is all about Him and not about me.
2)Rejoicing in the role God has given me. He has chosen to use me, a piddly clay pot, and I am His slave. That means my life is not mine to dictate how it should go. My life belongs to Him and it is in Him that I find any meaning at all. When things don't look the way I think they should or how I would like for them to, I must remember that it is His purposes that are being accomplished in my life and the lives of those around me, in whatever ways He chooses to accomplish them.
Piper says, "The Bible is replete with instances of saints struggling with sunken spirits. Psalm 19:7 says,'The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul'. This is a clear admission that the soul of the saint sometimes needs to be revived. And if it needs to be revived, in a sense it was 'dead'. The soul of the 'man after God's own heart' needs to be restored. It was dying of thirst and ready to fall exhausted, but God led the soul to water and gave it life again. Faith in future grace takes the promises of God and throws them against despondency. The lesson of Gethsemane and Calvary and the book of Psalms is that all the dark caves of despondency are really tunnels leading to the fields of joy."
So, dear friend, if you are in a season of discouragement or despondency, take heart: the Lord your God is near to you, He is calling you to Himself even now, and you must flee to Him. Do not turn to the distractions of this world, do not sink into frustration and despair, but be thankful! Thank the Lord for allowing such a time to test and refine you for greater service to Him.
Again, from Piper, come these words of reflection: "God wants us to know that when we follow Him, our lives always mean more than we think they do. For the Christian there is always a connection between the ordinary [and even frustrating or disheartening] events of life and the stupendous work of God in history. Everything we do in obedience to God, no matter how small, is significant. It is part of a cosmic mosaic that God is painting to display the greatness of His power and wisdom to the world and to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places (Eph. 3:10). A deep satisfaction of the Christian life is that we are not given over to trifles. Serving a widowed mother-in-law, gleaning in a field, falling in love, having a baby - for the Christian these things are all connected to eternity. They are part of something so much bigger than they seem."
Friday, February 26, 2010
Painful and Precious...
In recent weeks I have been experiencing some very painful and yet deeply precious times of repentance and refinement from the Lord. I don't care to share specific details, because though I think it is helpful at times to be encouraged through the mass medium of technology - my walk with the Lord is a private one, one which can easily be distorted or misrepresented if given too much exposure. Suffice it to say, I have learned - several times in the past couple years - that when we pray specifically to be refined and for the Lord to use whatever circumstances that are necessary for our pruning, then He will be faithful to do so! Why am I then surprised at how painful they are? It should not be such a shock, for when we think of the pruning and care it takes to maintain a garden, it quickly becomes evident that the most painful and difficult part of the "job" produces the most generous crop.
A few months back, I started a fairly large garden with my mom and some friends. Needless to say, we were not very faithful to care for it or even to adequately prepare the soil - at least that is what we have surmised at this point. We tried to weed it a couple times a week, but it seemed that each time we went, there was an abundance of weeds. And we tried to protect it from the infestation of bugs, but we didn't want to put the potent, most radical forms of bug spray on it. Instead we tried to go organic and keep it all natural. Now it must be said that I am all for organic methods when possible; however, had we put on the strong stuff, we may have been able to salvage some plants...possibly. In a similar fashion, we often put on the least effective protectants against our sin. We merely put a light layer of protection on and we often fail to tend to our own hearts on a daily basis. If I examined my heart as intently and as frequently as I have these past several days all the time, every day - I am confident that I would be conquering sin with much greater effectiveness.
I have allowed the garden of my heart to be overgrown with weeds and have attempted to guard it with a faint salve instead of trusting God to protect it with the righteous merits of Christ. I have plugged away each day with my own humanistic labors of self-righteousness and prideful arrogance, thinking that I can control my own heart and manuever it in the right direction. Folly!
Oh, that I would simply love my dear Jesus and put all of my trust in Him! How often I am misguided by my own loveless heart and my own weakened faith. Samuel Rutherford, a great father of the faith, wrote:
His Great Love – Our Little Faith
I myself am in as sweet communion with Christ as a poor sinner can be. I am only pained that He has much beauty and loveliness, and I little love. He has great power and mercy, and I little faith. He has much light, and I poor eyesight. O that I would see Him in the sweetness of His love, and in His marriage-clothes, and were over head and ears in love with that princely one, Christ Jesus my Lord! Alas, my broken dish, my leaky bottle, can hold so little of Christ Jesus!
Help me, Lord Jesus!
A few months back, I started a fairly large garden with my mom and some friends. Needless to say, we were not very faithful to care for it or even to adequately prepare the soil - at least that is what we have surmised at this point. We tried to weed it a couple times a week, but it seemed that each time we went, there was an abundance of weeds. And we tried to protect it from the infestation of bugs, but we didn't want to put the potent, most radical forms of bug spray on it. Instead we tried to go organic and keep it all natural. Now it must be said that I am all for organic methods when possible; however, had we put on the strong stuff, we may have been able to salvage some plants...possibly. In a similar fashion, we often put on the least effective protectants against our sin. We merely put a light layer of protection on and we often fail to tend to our own hearts on a daily basis. If I examined my heart as intently and as frequently as I have these past several days all the time, every day - I am confident that I would be conquering sin with much greater effectiveness.
I have allowed the garden of my heart to be overgrown with weeds and have attempted to guard it with a faint salve instead of trusting God to protect it with the righteous merits of Christ. I have plugged away each day with my own humanistic labors of self-righteousness and prideful arrogance, thinking that I can control my own heart and manuever it in the right direction. Folly!
Oh, that I would simply love my dear Jesus and put all of my trust in Him! How often I am misguided by my own loveless heart and my own weakened faith. Samuel Rutherford, a great father of the faith, wrote:
His Great Love – Our Little Faith
I myself am in as sweet communion with Christ as a poor sinner can be. I am only pained that He has much beauty and loveliness, and I little love. He has great power and mercy, and I little faith. He has much light, and I poor eyesight. O that I would see Him in the sweetness of His love, and in His marriage-clothes, and were over head and ears in love with that princely one, Christ Jesus my Lord! Alas, my broken dish, my leaky bottle, can hold so little of Christ Jesus!
Help me, Lord Jesus!
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