And such were some of you...

In recent years, the evangelical world has seen a number of well-respected figures fall from their thrones of influence. Pastors have been caught in adulterous affairs, TV evangelists has been accused of swindling thousands of dollars from faithful viewers, Christian stars have left their spouses for another lover (or even for many reasons that are not biblical grounds for divorce) and then remarried...and now beloved recording artists have confessed to living an "alternative" lifestyle. I have been pondering this post for several days, and still am uncertain as to whether I have allowed it to settle soundly enough in my mind. I do not want my speech to be hasty or overly judgmental. However, I think it is imperative that the Church (meaning those who are sincere believers in the Lordship of Jesus Christ and who have repented of their sin and turned to Him in complete faith) do take a position on such matters. Why? Because we are commanded to take a stand on the issue of sin...both in our personal lives and in the lives of others who name themselves as Christians. It is not my obligation to judge those who do not confess Christ as Savior, for they will be judged by God the Father Himself at the great white throne. But the Bible clearly tells us that we must lovingly "judge" one another within the Church by providing accountability and clarity when we see issues of sin manifested in one another's lives. In fact, chapter 5 of 1st Corinthians tells us that we are to judge within the Church concerning sexual immorality and to purge from the Church those who are unrepentant. We must deal swiftly and biblically with sin in our personal lives and with the sins that affect the body of Christ corporately.

Unfortunately, by taking a stand on such issues, I will most likely be labeled as unloving, prejudicial, arrogant and self-righteous. The verse, "let him without sin cast the first stone," inevitably becomes the battle cry against Christians who speak biblical truth in the face of such behaviors. Yet it is my Christian love which compels me to write. My love for Christ demands that I love His Word and love others that He has created - and in that love, I must call them to repentance so that they may be reconciled to the Savior. Is it not precious and faithful love that has been lavished upon me when a fellow brother or sister in Christ has graciously pointed out my sins and calls me to repentance? Sometimes I am so blind to my own deceitful ways that it takes the bold and yet compassionate admonitions of a Christian friend to draw me back into a clear understanding of God and His ways. The Christian life is rooted in perseverance, and we clearly depend on one another in order to persevere. Yes, God is the One who holds my soul in the palm of His hand, but He often uses fellow Christians to point my soul back to Him.

Thankfully, in God's providence, He has brought me to a church in which the love and forgiveness of Christ is seen on a consistent basis, as wayward members are welcomed back into fellowship upon their repentance and restoration. It is a joyful time when a brother or sister has come to recognize their sinful ways and then seeks to be reconciled to God and those in the Church. I have personally experienced this when I have been confronted of sins observed in my own life, but am always reminded of the love that the one confronting has for me and that their desire is for my eternal welfare. When an adulterous man has sought forgiveness and true biblical restoration, it has been granted. When a rebellious young adult who has lashed out against her family, returns in love and sorrow over her sin, she is welcomed just as the prodigal son. When I am unloving, bitter or thoughtless in my attitudes toward others, my church family is often eager to extend mercy and forgiveness.

Regarding the issue of sexual sin, and specifically, homosexuality, I would be a liar to say that Christians typically approach this issue with love and graciousness. Anyone who truly understands the grace that has been granted them in Christ Jesus would be eager to extend such compassion and mercy. We are often quick to lay down accusations filled with arrogance and pride. However, just because some in the Church do not deal with the fornicator, adulterer, or liar with Christ-exalting humility, does not mean that we lay aside God's Word altogether and allow sin to reign freely.

One of the most beautiful and obvious examples of Christian love that calls one out of sin is found in the dialogue between Christ and the woman at the well. Here, Christ confronted the woman with the fact that she had numerous husbands, explained to her the way of eternal life, and then told her to "go and sin no more". He loved her and so He told her the truth about herself. He did not offer her a salvation that was free for her own interpretation, as we so often do. The grace was freely given, but a manifestation of true faith was that the woman responded in obedience. There is no such thing as truth if it is not absolute, so saying that truth is whatever I make it to be or interpret it as, makes my "truth" merely an opinion. Jennifer Knapp, like all of us when we live in the deceitfulness of the sinful flesh, is seeking to measure her faith by experience instead of by God's Word. She has become her own source of authority instead of God being her authority. Therefore, her truth has become relative.

May we be quick, believers, to lovingly and gently call out the sin of a Christian brother or sister. But may we be even quicker to examine our own sinful hearts and "lay aside every weight which so easily entangles". May the Lord use such things to keep His Bride (the Church) pure and undefiled. May He show mercy and wisdom to Jennifer Knapp, and the many like her, who are so driven by emotion and experience, and bring them to a proper understanding of His Word, interpreting it as it is and not for how we would like for it to be. And may He be gracious to us all, for He is coming for us one day, and that may be very soon. May we be anticipating that day, preparing ourselves as the Bride does for the Bridegroom, without spot or blemish, and savoring Christ in all things.

"But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. They said to you, 'In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.' It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt, save others by snatching them out of the fire, to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh" (Jude 17-23).

Contrasting between God and man

My posting has been rather sparse this month, as I am in the midst of some very hectic times, as well as some pivotal self-reflection. However, as I was driving home tonight, the Lord was so good to use a favorite song to point out the vast divide between His glorious and perfect character and my fleshly, self-inflated character. One of my favorite songs on the Gateway Worship album is "You are Good," and as I was listening to it with the windows down on a beautiful evening, here is what stood out to me:

"Your kindness is forever...Your goodness if forever...Your mercy is forever." How different from God I truly am, and how I long to attain more diligently the character of His Son, Christ Jesus. My kindness is so limited by whether others treat me kindly. Was not Christ's kindness always perfect and filled with compassion to those around Him? And yet I find it difficult to be kind even for a moment sometimes. I become easily annoyed and frustrated with people when they don't do things my way, and I take their disobedience or mistreatments more as a personal offense instead of being righteously concerned about how they might be sinning against the Lord. My goodness is often hindered by selfish motives, prideful pursuits for attention and vain glory. Christ was always filled with a goodness that was concerned only with His Father receiving all the honor and praise. And my mercy is so restrained by the evil unforgiveness that remains deep within my heart. Christ told the woman at the well all of her sin, and yet was so eager to spread His loving wings over her, calling her to repentance and yet doing so in a manner of biblical affection. Even my best acts of love towards others are tainted by my inner desire to be loved and affirmed.

Lord, teach me to be kind in the ways You are kind. Train me to be filled with goodness, a righteous goodness that is not of this world. Mold me to be merciful, remembering the sins of others no more and being quick to extend an arm of sweet unity in the body.

Feminism as Fraud...

Taken from the book, "Verses of Virtue" by Elizabeth Beall Phillips:

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The Lord standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people...

Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making tinkling with their feet; Therefore, the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts.

In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon, the chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers. The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings, the rings, and nose jewels, the changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins, the glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods and the veils.

And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and instead of beauty...

And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.

Selections from Isaiah 3 and 4

I (the writer of this blog) would challenge each of us women to examine our own hearts and lives, to see in what ways are we stretching forth our necks, seeking attention, eliciting a response from those around us? Are we being led about and motivated by the worldly treasures of beauty and materialism? Are we using the mediums of Facebook and such to proclaim our news to the world, bringing glory to ourselves instead of God, or to complain about someone/something that is disturbing us, just so that we can seek out agreeable comments to validate our frustration? Trust me, I am guilty here as well. Oftentimes, we throw discretion out the window for the sake of getting the attention we have searched to find for so long. We seek affirming comments about ourselves by openly publicizing our beauty, our relationships, our possessions, our successes. We must take heed, for it will all vanish in a moment, at the providential decree of the Lord Almighty, who will not tolerate the disloyalty of our wayward hearts!

Encouraging Resources for Women...

Several of my college girls, as well as friends and peers have asked what books I would recommend to women desiring to learn more about biblical womanhood, singleness, marriage and parenting. Because I am working on my graduate school thesis and have been reading non-stop, I thought I would make a list that way it would be a quick reference I could pass along from time to time. Anyway, I am sure there are many I have either not read or not included in this list, so by no means is it exhaustive, but hopefully it might be helpful in some way. I also cannot say that I would 100% agree with every thought presented in each book or site. However, overall, I would say they offer quite reliable and biblically sound materials, and as with anything, should be understood with God-wrought spiritual discernment.

Blogs:
http://girltalkblogs.com
http://solofemininity.blogs.com
http://affolter-mel.blogspot.com (**this is my blog and I include it merely because I often place links and quotes of other helpful resources on it)

Biblical Websites for Women:
http://www.girltalkhome.com/
http://cbmw.org
http://www.womencounselingwomen.com
http://gnpcb.org/sites/total.truth
http://truewomanhood.wordpress.com
http://biblicalwomanhoodonline.com
http://girlsgonewise.com

Modesty:
http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey

Biblical & Theological Encouragement:
http://a1m.org – ministry of Steve Camp
http://www.epm.org – Randy Alcorn provides a God-exalting picture of finances
http://boundless.org
http://joshharris.com – ministry of the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Books:
Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God – Lisa Tatlock & Pat Ennis
Biblical Womanhood in the Home – Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Big Truths For Young Hearts – Bruce Ware
By Design – Susan Hunt
Chance to Die, A – Amy Carmichael
Comforts From the Cross – Elyse Fitzpatrick
Counsel From the Cross – Elyse Fitzpatrick
Damsels in Distress – Martha Peace
Depression, A Stubborn Darkness – Ed Welch
Designing a Lifestyle That Pleases God – Lisa Tatlock & Pat Ennis
Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? – Carolyn McCulley
Disciplines of a Godly Woman – Barbara Hughes
Divine Design – John MacArthur
Does Christianity Squash Women? – Rebecca Jones
Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart – John Ensor
Don’t Make Me Count to Three: A Mom’s Look.. – Ginger Plowman
Elizabeth Prentiss: More Love to Thee (a biography) – Sharon James
Evangelical Feminism: A New Path to Liberalism? – Wayne Grudem
Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth – Wayne Grudem
Excellent Wife, The – Martha Peace
Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God – Noel Piper
Female Piety – John Angell James
Feminine Appeal – Carolyn Mahaney
Feminist Mistake, The – Mary Kassian
Fine China is for Single Women Too – Lydia Brownback
Freedom of Power and Forgiveness, The – John MacArthur
Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild – Mary Kassian
Give Me This Mountain – Dr. Helen Roseveare
God, Marriage and Family – Andreas Kostenberger
God’s Design For Women: Biblical Womanhood For Today – Sharon James
Gospel Primer for Christians, A – Milton Vincent
Gospel Powered Parenting – William P. Farley
He Gave Us a Valley – Dr. Helen Roseveare
Helper by Design – Elyse Fitzpatrick
Holding Hands, Holding Hearts – Richard Phillips
Idols of the Heart – Elyse Fitzpatrick
In Trouble and In Joy – Sharon James
Instructing a Child’s Heart – Tedd Tripp
Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands – Paul David Tripp
Legacy of Biblical Womanhood – Susan Hunt
Let Me Be a Woman – Elisabeth Elliot
Lies Women Believe & Lies Young Women Believe – Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage – Jay Adams
One Year Book of Hope, The – Nancy Guthrie
Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety – Elyse Fitzpatrick
Peacemaking Women – Tara Barthel & Judy Dabler
Practicing Hospitality – Pat Ennis & Lisa Tatlock
Precious in God’s Sight – Pat Ennis
Preparing for Marriage God’s Way – Wayne Mack
Radical Womanhood – Carolyn McCulley
Relationships, A Mess Worth Making – Tim Lane and Paul Tripp
Rich Single Life, The – Andrew Farmer
Running Scared: Fear, Worry and the God of Rest – Ed Welch
Shepherding a Child’s Heart – Tedd Tripp
Shopping For Time – Carolyn Mahaney (& daughters)
Solving Marriage Problems – Jay Adams
Stepping Heavenward – Elizabeth Prentiss
Sweet and Bitter Providence, A – John Piper
This Momentary Marriage – John Piper
Total Truth – Nancy Pearcy
Treasuring God in Our Traditions – Noel Piper
True Woman – Susan Hunt
Twelve Extraordinary Women – John MacArthur
War of Words – Paul Tripp
When Sinners Say “I Do” – Dave Harvey
Woman After God’s Own Heart, A – Elizabeth George
Women Helping Women: A Biblical Guide – Elyse Fitzpatrick & Carol Cornish
Women’s Ministry in the Church – J. Ligon Duncan & Susan Hunt

Christ the Lord is Risen Today...

In a few hours it will be Resurrection Sunday. As I contemplate the meaning of all that is found in Christ's death, burial and resurrection, I think specifically this year what it means to me - as a Christian woman. This past year has been one in which I have come to a deeper love and understanding of my created purpose not just as a human, but as a woman. There is meaning and value in Christ for me as a woman. Sometimes when this topic is discussed, I think people tend to feel like we say things like this merely to make us feel better about being a woman, as if it is so difficult and oppressive. But that is certainly not the intention behind my understanding and study of it, so do not misunderstand me. One of my pastors recently said to me, "What is one of the reasons I get to sit behind this desk?" Now, obviously, not just anyone can be a pastor. It is a life calling, one that must be validated by the Spirit. However, what he was pointing out was that one reason he can sit behind that desk is because he is a man. Scripture teaches that the elder or pastor of the flock is to be a man, not a woman.

So...how does this relate to Easter Sunday? Well, indirectly, it relates in that I celebrate Easter as a woman, praising God for the redemption I have found in Him as my Creator and Savior! I have heard some scholars/writers point out how it was to women that Christ first revealed Himself after His resurrection from the dead, and they even say that this fact should be an encouragement to all women of the value and dignity that Christ chose to bestow on women in doing such a thing. Now, I don't want to take it that far necessarily, because I do think that sometimes we place more meaning on something to the point that it may take away from the central importance, which in this case, is that Christ was raised from the dead! His resurrection is not to be used as an opportunity to validate woman's significance, but to validate the prophecies of God's Word and to bring complete fulfillment to the promises we have in Him. And I rejoice in this reality as a saved woman!

Susan Hunt says, "The true woman is the real thing. The Master has set eternity in her heart and is conforming her to His own image. There is consistency in her outward behavior because it is dictated by the reality of her inner life. That reality is her redemption. The true woman is a reflection of her redemption."