Since I am in the midst of paperwork for school, there aren't a lot of original thoughts to dispense at this moment, though my list of future blogging titles is ever-increasing with the hopes that one day I can sit down and develop those ideas more! In the meantime, let me just share a quote that really gripped me last night as I read.
"The key to a godly life is not more and more self-generated effort. Instead, Jesus is saying, 'Love me and your obedience will flow naturally from that love.' The secret to obedience isn't formulaic steps found in a self-help book. It is a relentless pursuit of love for him. How then do I cultivate the sincerity of love that motivates obedience? By focusing more intently on His love for me than on my love for Him, more on His obedience than mine, more on His faithfulness than mine, more on His strength than mine." (Elyse Fitzpatrick, Comforts From the Cross)
I need to remember this, as I am so prone to self-generated effort and often find myself looking for three simple steps toward obedience. Lord, help me to love You more, and in loving You to obey as You did!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Joy in obedience
My posting may be a little sparse the next couple of weeks as I have some very intense school assignments that are due, some of which I am struggling greatly to meet the deadlines for. However, I wanted to share just a couple of brief thoughts from the past couple of days, things I am contemplating and have yet to come to some final conclusions.
I tend to be a legalist at times, particularly in regard to my own salvation. This hit me so hard in a sermon my pastor preached last night. At the end, he spent just a couple of sentences admonishing the congregation to examine themselves to see if their view of salvation and even sanctification is based upon works. Of course, my knee jerk reaction would always be a resounding, "of course I don't believe that! We are saved by grace through faith". However, when I closely evaluate my heart responses to sin being exposed in my life and even more importantly my motives for obedience, I begin to see how often I operate with a mindset that is trying to somehow earn the favor of the Lord, and even others. This is why my obedience, though outwardly successful, is oftentimes lacking severely in joy. I am the person my pastor was talking about. When he said "do you find yourself thinking that God doesn't love you because of how badly you messed up today?" (paraphrasing), that's me! I operate this way in how I relate to others as well, thinking that their love for me is conditional upon my pleasing them or living up to their standards or even surpassing those standards. I need to apply much of my biblical counseling education to my own heart. Even if I never get to use what I am learning in a job or even as much as I would like in ministry, I was sweetly reminded last night of God's goodness to me in allowing me to learn how to counsel myself. The hard part now is not just speaking to my heart about these matters, but actually doing them and living it out. Again, this goes back to Christ, as I have been studying in Philippians: "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own...forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead" (vs.3:12-16).
Pray for me in the coming days to diligently complete my assignments and to do it with joy, all the while learning to be mature in Christ Jesus for the glory of God!
I tend to be a legalist at times, particularly in regard to my own salvation. This hit me so hard in a sermon my pastor preached last night. At the end, he spent just a couple of sentences admonishing the congregation to examine themselves to see if their view of salvation and even sanctification is based upon works. Of course, my knee jerk reaction would always be a resounding, "of course I don't believe that! We are saved by grace through faith". However, when I closely evaluate my heart responses to sin being exposed in my life and even more importantly my motives for obedience, I begin to see how often I operate with a mindset that is trying to somehow earn the favor of the Lord, and even others. This is why my obedience, though outwardly successful, is oftentimes lacking severely in joy. I am the person my pastor was talking about. When he said "do you find yourself thinking that God doesn't love you because of how badly you messed up today?" (paraphrasing), that's me! I operate this way in how I relate to others as well, thinking that their love for me is conditional upon my pleasing them or living up to their standards or even surpassing those standards. I need to apply much of my biblical counseling education to my own heart. Even if I never get to use what I am learning in a job or even as much as I would like in ministry, I was sweetly reminded last night of God's goodness to me in allowing me to learn how to counsel myself. The hard part now is not just speaking to my heart about these matters, but actually doing them and living it out. Again, this goes back to Christ, as I have been studying in Philippians: "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own...forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead" (vs.3:12-16).
Pray for me in the coming days to diligently complete my assignments and to do it with joy, all the while learning to be mature in Christ Jesus for the glory of God!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Biblical Womanhood...again!
Since I am always looking for some insight into cultivating biblical womanhood, when I came across this quote I knew right away I would have to share it! One thing that troubles me is when we unmarried women in particular, think that somehow we are exempt from pursuing biblical womanhood. Or we think that only certain parts of it apply to us. I would submit however, that knowing Scripture is a command given to all believers, and therefore, as a woman who wants to know Scripture more and more, I must seek to apply all areas of biblical womanhood, if not in experience itself (obviously I cannot experience being a wife without actually getting married), then in principle for certain. I must know what it means to be a godly wife, and I must be prepared to give an answer on issues like submission and motherhood because I will most definitely come into relationship with women who are experiencing marriage and parenting. Jesus was never married and yet He taught signficantly on marriage. Paul was never married and he spoke clearly on the issue in many of his letters. So I too must be familiar with the teachings of Scripture, instructing and praying alongside women who are seeking to love their husbands, teach their children and manage their homes in a way that brings honor to God. ALL of the Bible is meant for every believer and so therefore, I must embrace it, obey it and live it out whatever season of life I am currently in.
"Young Christian ladies must either remain in a virgin state of life and devote themselves to piety, prayer, self-denial, and all good works; or they must marry and be holy, sober, and wise in the care of a family - bringing up their children in piety, humility, and devotion, and abounding in all other good works to the utmost of their status and capacity. They have no choice of anything else, but must devote themselves to God in one of these states. They may choose a married or a single life; but it is not left to their choice whether they will make either state a state of holiness, humility, devotion, and all other duties of the Christian life. They must...look into the spirit of their prayers and into the nature and end of Christianity. There they will find that whether they are married or unmarried they have but one business upon their hands. And that is to be wise, pious, and holy - not in little modes and forms of worship but in the whole turn of their minds, in the whole form of all their behavior, and in the daily course of life."
William Law, A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life
"Young Christian ladies must either remain in a virgin state of life and devote themselves to piety, prayer, self-denial, and all good works; or they must marry and be holy, sober, and wise in the care of a family - bringing up their children in piety, humility, and devotion, and abounding in all other good works to the utmost of their status and capacity. They have no choice of anything else, but must devote themselves to God in one of these states. They may choose a married or a single life; but it is not left to their choice whether they will make either state a state of holiness, humility, devotion, and all other duties of the Christian life. They must...look into the spirit of their prayers and into the nature and end of Christianity. There they will find that whether they are married or unmarried they have but one business upon their hands. And that is to be wise, pious, and holy - not in little modes and forms of worship but in the whole turn of their minds, in the whole form of all their behavior, and in the daily course of life."
William Law, A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life
Monday, August 17, 2009
32 things I am hoping for this year!
So here I am working on a paper three hours before the 32nd anniversary of my birth. Not a big deal this year, other than the fact that in recent days I have been able to reflect very specifically on the things I would like for God to accomplish in my life. With age comes a greater longing for heaven and an urgent desire to be united with my precious Jesus. So here is a list of 32 things that I would like to either experience or see God do in my life this year. I hesitate to publish it because then I become more accountable to it, but hey, sometimes that is the best way to be motivated toward the goal.
1. Finish my thesis and graduate with my master of arts in biblical counseling
2. Tell my niece and nephew more about Christ and all that He is for us and all that He delivers us from
3. Become a more compassionate counselor to the young women God has placed in my life
4. Study Christ every single day and seek to become more and more like Him
5. Meet my husband
6. Gain more control over my emotions and learn true forgiveness
7. Intentionally disciple the young children God has providentially placed in my life, always pointing them to the only salvation that can redeem them from their black hearts
8. Be selfless! Die to my desires, wishes, demands and expectations
9. Go on another mission trip - school has consumed me the past two years and I long to go once again to Africa or Romania or anywhere to share what Christ has done in me
10. Love my pastors and church leaders more diligently, pray for them more intentionally and serve them more sacrificially
11. Use my conversations with friends as a way to build up and encourage the cause of Christ, drawing us into sweet fellowship with Him that supersedes our own inward motivations of wanting to be liked and appreciated
12. See my sin more clearly in the very moment it appears - and even more so, to identify the motives behind it
13. Pursue humility - look for ways to be anonymous and unknown in my ministries
14. To know my heart more clearly and to examine the drives behind every word that is said and every thought that is contemplated
15. Write more
16. Pray more diligently for Addy, Rory, Kiersten, Kalli, Baby boy Clayton, Autumn, Noah, Payton, Daniel, Elizabeth, Joshua - for their redemption!
17. Stop looking at myself and look more closely at others, seeking opportunities to bless, provide for needs, uplift with words of life, provide pleasant communion
18. Get back to hospitality and keeping my home better, in spite of all the demands of my schooling
19. Plant a garden and maintain it
20. Counsel women in crisis situations, maybe volunteer at the local crisis pregnancy center
21. Read for fun instead of just for school
22. Save $500
23. Give away more stuff to others instead of hoarding everything for myself - and to give away things that are of significant value to me, not merely things I no longer care about
24. Speak out as much as possible about the principles of biblical counseling in the local church (ALL believers are called to counsel in some way or another)
25. Spend a day with my Mom doing something completely relaxing and indulgent
26. Guard my tongue more diligently, speaking only what is TRUE, KIND and NECESSARY
27. See lost family members who are in denial about their sin come to repentance and find Christ most satisfying and worthy of all honor and praise
28. Help some sweet young ladies plan and enjoy a most beautiful and joyous wedding day, while at all times pointing to the value of Christ and His bride, the Church
29. Overlook small offenses that I so quickly pick up and carry around
30. Rejoice in the opportunities God has given me to serve Him in lowly positions and to be grateful for the provisions He has given in them
31. To show my parents that I love them more faithfully and consistently
32. Love Christ and value Him above any earthly thing - laying aside any single thing or person that might cause me to take my eyes off of Him even for one moment
1. Finish my thesis and graduate with my master of arts in biblical counseling
2. Tell my niece and nephew more about Christ and all that He is for us and all that He delivers us from
3. Become a more compassionate counselor to the young women God has placed in my life
4. Study Christ every single day and seek to become more and more like Him
5. Meet my husband
6. Gain more control over my emotions and learn true forgiveness
7. Intentionally disciple the young children God has providentially placed in my life, always pointing them to the only salvation that can redeem them from their black hearts
8. Be selfless! Die to my desires, wishes, demands and expectations
9. Go on another mission trip - school has consumed me the past two years and I long to go once again to Africa or Romania or anywhere to share what Christ has done in me
10. Love my pastors and church leaders more diligently, pray for them more intentionally and serve them more sacrificially
11. Use my conversations with friends as a way to build up and encourage the cause of Christ, drawing us into sweet fellowship with Him that supersedes our own inward motivations of wanting to be liked and appreciated
12. See my sin more clearly in the very moment it appears - and even more so, to identify the motives behind it
13. Pursue humility - look for ways to be anonymous and unknown in my ministries
14. To know my heart more clearly and to examine the drives behind every word that is said and every thought that is contemplated
15. Write more
16. Pray more diligently for Addy, Rory, Kiersten, Kalli, Baby boy Clayton, Autumn, Noah, Payton, Daniel, Elizabeth, Joshua - for their redemption!
17. Stop looking at myself and look more closely at others, seeking opportunities to bless, provide for needs, uplift with words of life, provide pleasant communion
18. Get back to hospitality and keeping my home better, in spite of all the demands of my schooling
19. Plant a garden and maintain it
20. Counsel women in crisis situations, maybe volunteer at the local crisis pregnancy center
21. Read for fun instead of just for school
22. Save $500
23. Give away more stuff to others instead of hoarding everything for myself - and to give away things that are of significant value to me, not merely things I no longer care about
24. Speak out as much as possible about the principles of biblical counseling in the local church (ALL believers are called to counsel in some way or another)
25. Spend a day with my Mom doing something completely relaxing and indulgent
26. Guard my tongue more diligently, speaking only what is TRUE, KIND and NECESSARY
27. See lost family members who are in denial about their sin come to repentance and find Christ most satisfying and worthy of all honor and praise
28. Help some sweet young ladies plan and enjoy a most beautiful and joyous wedding day, while at all times pointing to the value of Christ and His bride, the Church
29. Overlook small offenses that I so quickly pick up and carry around
30. Rejoice in the opportunities God has given me to serve Him in lowly positions and to be grateful for the provisions He has given in them
31. To show my parents that I love them more faithfully and consistently
32. Love Christ and value Him above any earthly thing - laying aside any single thing or person that might cause me to take my eyes off of Him even for one moment
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Not a lot of time!
I went out of town for a few days this past week and just returned to the pressures of some major school assignments that are due in the next several days. Needless to say, this post will be brief and probably not very unique. But I know I am committed to try and post once or twice per week...so this will have to suffice for this time.
One of the things I have been seriously pondering and praying about this past year has been the idea I am working on for my graduate thesis. I would rather not give it away entirely in such a public format just yet, but would like to touch on one area. That is how my creation design plays out a great deal in my relationships. As an unmarried woman, I think it becomes so easy to think that I am not able to fulfill my calling as a woman since I remain single. However, what do I do then with the biblical instructions for femininity, characteristics such as submission, nurturing, hospitality, keeping the home, training children, being a help-meet? I must choose to live in light of this calling, for it is not a calling that is ever separated apart only for the married woman. I am created different from man in my original design by God Himself, not merely because I am married or unmarried. It may look a little different for me - nurturing and training other people's children through the unique relationships that develop within the church body, submitting to my pastors and church leaders with joy and loving respect, and helping others by coming alongside them in service and humility. This is why I find the church body so distinctly precious, as it is THE primary means by which I can live out my creation design, whatever my marital status is in this life. Either way, I am married to Christ. I am His and He is mine!
"Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its desires and passions." Galatians 5:24
One of the things I have been seriously pondering and praying about this past year has been the idea I am working on for my graduate thesis. I would rather not give it away entirely in such a public format just yet, but would like to touch on one area. That is how my creation design plays out a great deal in my relationships. As an unmarried woman, I think it becomes so easy to think that I am not able to fulfill my calling as a woman since I remain single. However, what do I do then with the biblical instructions for femininity, characteristics such as submission, nurturing, hospitality, keeping the home, training children, being a help-meet? I must choose to live in light of this calling, for it is not a calling that is ever separated apart only for the married woman. I am created different from man in my original design by God Himself, not merely because I am married or unmarried. It may look a little different for me - nurturing and training other people's children through the unique relationships that develop within the church body, submitting to my pastors and church leaders with joy and loving respect, and helping others by coming alongside them in service and humility. This is why I find the church body so distinctly precious, as it is THE primary means by which I can live out my creation design, whatever my marital status is in this life. Either way, I am married to Christ. I am His and He is mine!
"Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its desires and passions." Galatians 5:24
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Satisfied in Christ
Obviously I am experiencing a fresh interest in learning to love Christ exclusively, though I am disappointed when I see how quickly I find satisfaction in other things and my gaze easily shifts from Him to fleeting matters. But when I was in California, I had the privilege of attending the Women Discipling Women conference, put on by The Master's College Biblical Counseling Department - my graduate school. Anyway, there was this young woman there who shared during the praise and worship time and I was blown away by her music (and bought a CD on the spot)! I have copied one favorite song below because the lyrics are just profound in a very simple way. You can find links to her music just by googling her name:
Be Satisfied
Oh my heart is, very simple;
So foolish, so deceived.
Oh, this heart, pleased so easily.
Awake my soul to find in Him
More joy than any passing sin.
Drink His pleasures in, and be satisfied.
Oh, my heart, though very simple
Can never be refused.
Oh, this heart, bound by His own love
Awake my soul to who you are
Beloved, beyond the farthest star.
See your Savior’s scars, and be satisfied
Protect me from this heart that is mine
O lover of my soul, Keeper of my hope
Let your beauty shine so I can see
How perfect and free you love towards me defends my weakest part
And not for what I’ve done but for who you are
In you alone are light and truth,
Oh may my soul be found in you.
Though all the world be offered to me.
Though often led astray by sin
Your mercy beckons me again
Forever loved by you I’ll stay
Be Satisfied
Oh my heart is, very simple;
So foolish, so deceived.
Oh, this heart, pleased so easily.
Awake my soul to find in Him
More joy than any passing sin.
Drink His pleasures in, and be satisfied.
Oh, my heart, though very simple
Can never be refused.
Oh, this heart, bound by His own love
Awake my soul to who you are
Beloved, beyond the farthest star.
See your Savior’s scars, and be satisfied
Protect me from this heart that is mine
O lover of my soul, Keeper of my hope
Let your beauty shine so I can see
How perfect and free you love towards me defends my weakest part
And not for what I’ve done but for who you are
In you alone are light and truth,
Oh may my soul be found in you.
Though all the world be offered to me.
Though often led astray by sin
Your mercy beckons me again
Forever loved by you I’ll stay
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Remembering Christ
One of the primary things I have been pondering in recent days has been Christ! This sounds a little funny at first, because obviously as a Christian, one would assume that I would ponder Christ. However, in recent experiences I have been so gently reminded of the propensity of man (particularly myself)to rely on self-control and self-discipline, conformation to the Law and the commands of Christ without simply considering Christ. I love Christ, and this love has been profoundly deepened and broadened in recent days. He is my reason for everything I do, everything command I am able to obey, every good desire that is within me. There is nothing good apart from Him. Without Him, my relationships with family and friends have no meaning. Without Him, I am hopeless in my educational or career pursuits - because there is no significance in these things done apart from Christ. Without Him, I become troubled by the pervasiveness of sin in this world, and even more so, the pervasiveness of it within my heart. Without Him, I have absolutely no confidence that my ministry means anything. Without Him, my singleness becomes a cause for fear, worry and even despair as I grow older. Without Him, the waves of strife amongst believers and the spiritual apathy of the church become more than I can bear and soon go over my neck, causing me to drown in sorrow. I love Christ. Christ is the only means by which man can be changed, including the man who is already saved. He is the source of change for me, a seasoned believer, just as much as He is for the unregenerate man who is chained in the pits of his sin. This is why He says, "...apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).
If this is all true, and Christ is my only hope in this life, then why am I not entirely obsessed with knowing, loving and serving Him? The cares of this world, the distractions of this material life quickly close in upon me, choking out my love and devotion for Him. I pray that He will teach me to love Him more and more, that He will hold onto me when I am forgetful to hold onto Him.
"...if you contemplate yourself, that is sure damnation. But since Christ has been so imparted to you with all His benefits that all His things are made yours, that you are made a member of Him, indeed one with Him, His righteousness overwhelms your sins; His salvation wipes out your condemnation; with His worthiness He intercedes that your unworthiness may not come before God's sight. Surely this is so: We ought not to separate Christ from ourselves or ourselves from Him. Rather we ought to hold fast bravely with both hands to that fellowship by which He has bound Himself to us" (John Calvin).
I love Christ...and I am so grateful that He loves me so much more than I love Him!
If this is all true, and Christ is my only hope in this life, then why am I not entirely obsessed with knowing, loving and serving Him? The cares of this world, the distractions of this material life quickly close in upon me, choking out my love and devotion for Him. I pray that He will teach me to love Him more and more, that He will hold onto me when I am forgetful to hold onto Him.
"...if you contemplate yourself, that is sure damnation. But since Christ has been so imparted to you with all His benefits that all His things are made yours, that you are made a member of Him, indeed one with Him, His righteousness overwhelms your sins; His salvation wipes out your condemnation; with His worthiness He intercedes that your unworthiness may not come before God's sight. Surely this is so: We ought not to separate Christ from ourselves or ourselves from Him. Rather we ought to hold fast bravely with both hands to that fellowship by which He has bound Himself to us" (John Calvin).
I love Christ...and I am so grateful that He loves me so much more than I love Him!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Finally home
So I spent three and half weeks in California at The Master's College working on my graduate degree in biblical counseling, then came home for a day and half only to do laundry and repack to spend this last week at our church youth camp as a high school leader. Needless to say, I am ready to stay put for a bit! However, reflecting on this past month is a precious reminder of all the wonderful ways God continues to provide so many opportunities for me to be sanctified in truth, to grow in my relationships with Christian brothers and sisters, and to mature me in ministry. He truly has blessed me beyond measure. I have a couple of ideas about what I will write in the coming days, so stay tuned this week for more!
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