A Troubled Mind...

In recent months I have spoken to or heard of so many who are experiencing difficulties and troubles in their walk on this earth. Life is hard. And sometimes we forget that God has not promised an easy and painless road. In fact, when we thoroughly examine the Scriptures, we find that those who are faithful often experience the most challenging circumstances this life can bring. Even just in recent days, as I was talking with a dear friend, we were discussing how we are sometimes fearful to admit just how dark our minds are in the midst of trouble. We think that by honestly admitting our struggles, we will somehow offend another because maybe they have experience far worse. We think, "I can't possibly confess to having bouts of joylessness or cloudy thoughts because others have lost a child or experienced the death of a lifetime spouse. Who am I to compare my circumstances?" The danger in this type of thinking is that it denies the power of our own depravity. Being sinful people who live in a world that is consumed by sin and its all-encompassing effects, we cannot deny that Satan would love nothing more than to pull us into utter misery, bringing us to a point where we choose to merely go through the motions and remain paralyzed by despair.

Typically when we meet the darkest of days in heart and mind, we are often quick to think as Job's friends did and begin accusing ourselves, thinking there must be some form of twisted punishment for unrepented sins. And while we must attend to self-examination and be certain to resolve any identifiable sins - as well as imploring God to reveal unknown sins from the depths of our hearts - we must also receive these inner turmoils of spirit as a further proof of the Savior's love for us in bringing about greater sanctification.

During such dark moments, particularly if they persist for many days, weeks and months - even years, we are eager to be consoled by the soothing comforts of a friend or loved one, even a pastor or spiritual mentor. We go searching for their assuring presence, and yet oftentimes are disappointed. While God has provided such relationships within the covenant community, it is tempting to be unrealistic in our expectations. When we are disappointed by mortals, we forget our own tendency to disappoint. We become so consumed with how we are "feeling" and how we are not being tended to, that we overlook our own selfish inclinations. We think much too highly of ourselves and so very little of others. We want mercy poured out upon us, and yet refuse to extend it to others.

I have been reading a book by Timothy Rogers (late 1600's), entitled Trouble of Mind and the Disease of Melancholy. He has brought so much clarity to my own understanding of this topic, and so instead of wasting my words trying to come up with some fresh angle, I think it would be most helpful to simply share some of my favorite passages from my readings:

Who can tell the very cause why God allows one religious man to be in affliction for several years, while another, who is perhaps no better than he, scarcely knows what affliction means? One shall be crossed and disappointed in all that he goes about; he meets with losses in his estate and in his family, and his health is damaged, while another prospers, is well, and dies an easy death. In what a smooth path do some good people go to heaven, while others are torn with thorns and briars, and go mourning and weeping all the way! Who dares to presume to say why this is so, and not otherwise?

When we say that God does this or that for such and such a reason, we must do it with great humility, and only so far as the Scripture is our guide. And from that we may learn that God suffers His people to be under the apprehensions of His wrath, and under long afflictions, for such ends as these:

1. It is certainly good for the universe, for God does nothing in vain. And when any part suffers, it is for the good of the whole.

2. He does this so that others may be convinced by their very senses what a dreadful God He is, and how terrible a thing it is to sin. Sometimes, in the extraordinary joys which His love produces in the hearts of His people, He shows heaven upon earth; and sometimes, in the fears, amazements, and terrors of awakened consciences, He shows hell upon earth - and both are designed for the good of others by His wise and holy providence.

3. God does it to keep us from carnal security all our lives. This will make us humble and walk softly all our days, remembering that we are not, every hour, any more than what God makes us to be. If He ever left us for but one poor moment, where would we be?

4. God does this to convince us of His own all-sufficiency, and the nothingness of ourselves and of all other creatures. In our prosperity, we are apt to think that this or that creature, this or that person, will yield us relief; but in spiritual troubles God shows us that all men, even the best of men, are vanity, and those from whom we expect the greatest help do us the least good. Nay, those watchmen of whose skill and kindness we have the greatest opinion are frequently allowed to smite us by their imprudent or harsh speeches and censures, so that we may not look to those cisterns which we find to be broken ones, but to that heaven whence all consolation flows. When we go to created things with the most raised expectations, we meet with the most unlooked-for disappointments. And indeed, while we look only to them, we are like people who go begging to the doors of the poor. Our fellow creatures have nothing but what they receive; unless God helps us, they cannot help either. Unless the wind blows, neither all the skill of the pilot nor all the industry of the mariner can make the ship sail forward to the port. We think that if our friend was sick, we would hasten to his help and immediately relieve him; but our best Friend stays a long while before He delivers us, not from any pleasure that He takes in our sorrows, but that He may render His power and His wisdom more illustrious. He wants us to see that all other things are inconsiderable, but that He is all-sufficient.

There are several more purposes that I will post here in the next couple of days as I continue to contemplate God's ever-present hand of providence flowing in the lives of His people. May we ponder such truths that are offered from the greatest depths of His treasures. It is in His life-giving words that we can find peace...and only there! Praise Him for His faithfulness in using mere men to reveal such things to our stubborn hearts!

"Master save us, lest we perish!" (Matthew 8)

Friend...

Recent weeks and months have brought a new appreciation and gratitude in my heart for the dear friendships God has so graciously blessed me with. There are more blessings than I can even number here that have come as a direct result of the loving investment some of my closest friends have made in my life. I was reminded again of this treasure, when reading this blog today:

http://solofemininity.blogs.com/

Check it out and consider...what kind of friend are you? And what kind of friendships are you busy cultivating?

It never ends...

The problem of immodesty, impurity, indiscretion, and seduction seems to never go away...but of particular concern is that it doesn't even seem restrained within the Church. We hear sermons, read devotionals, study Scripture ourselves - and yet the problem remains ever-present. I just returned from a youth camp last week, at which we had the privilege of being taught very clearly about the scriptural basis for biblical manhood and womanhood - both in relation to masculinity and femininity, as well as the area of dating (or whatever you might like to call it). It seems to be a topic that is revisited over and over, to the point that we hear young people letting out sighs of complaint when it comes up once again.

We must take note that unfortunately the problem is often exacerbated by uninvolved/unconcerned - or at best - biblically ignorant, parents. Whenever the issue arises, there are always remarks made like, "My parents never tell me I can't wear this!" or from older women, "Well my husband doesn't seem to mind" and "You're just being legalistic!"

Now, on the one hand, there must be balance. There is certainly not more piety in a woman simply because she wears a dress that covers all the way down to her ankles and reveals no traces of makeup or hair product. This woman may oftentimes have just as much sinful preoccupation with her physical appearance as the woman wearing tight shorts that look no better than an undergarment. It might be that she is sinfully prideful in being more conservative. So we must be cautious when making such judgments.

But here's the main thing. When discussing modesty or demeanor, we tend to always lean on the argument that Scripture is not clear and so we can't really judge one another in these matters. However, if we don't do any wise and helpful judging, then how will anyone ever know what modesty/purity/discretion really is? Areas that are "gray" in the Bible demand that we apply biblical principles to make wise decisions that will only build up the body of Christ. And I fear that this is where we as the Church are failing miserably.

When your question about your clothing is more geared toward how far can you go without being immodest, rather than - how modest can you be - then there is the problem! If you have to ask your mother or an older Christian woman, "Is this OK?" then it's likely that you already know the answer. Unfortunately, many fathers and mothers are not thinking clearly in this area. Oftentimes, they view it as "innocent" or "cute", which in effect, provokes the problem.

The same goes for behavior. If your demeanor is such that you are perceived as the girl everyone is always chasing after, and your smiles, gestures and eye movements are altered when you are around certain men, then you already know that you are showing favoritism, flirtation and even seductiveness. These mannerisms are not seen in Scripture in any way, other than the descriptions of those who are united as husband and wife. The same application can be made for men, but as a woman, my role is to speak to my own gender.

This may sound like a rant. And it does seem to occupy my thoughts often. But the Bible speaks repeatedly on the discreet and submissive and lovely adornments of a godly woman. So it must be an issue that every woman carefully considers repeatedly. Tendencies toward immodesty, flirtatious behavior and seductive language reveal a heart that is filled with vanity. The attention is on self. It is not on the other person, or on the body of Christ. When a man or woman is constantly seeking the attention of the opposite sex in a way that has not been affirmed or cannot be righteously fulfilled in marriage, then the sin of self has taken control of his or her thoughts, motives and agenda.

Paying exclusive attention to the opposite sex without securing a commitment of hearts through the means of parental and pastoral permission, whether by way of immodest dress, behavior or speech (this can be through flirting, incessant texting/messaging, emotional fantasizing), is telling your brothers and sisters in Christ that you do not value the Christ-bearing image of each one's creation design. You are placing your self-interest above that of your Christian family - not to mention sending a clear message to the world that you see no reason to pursue femininity/masculinity and relationships in a way that is radically different than theirs.

"For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Put to death what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry." Colossians 3:4

It's been a while...

Recent weeks have been filled with so many things that have taken me from my normal desire and ability to write. As I contemplate some thoughts and prepare to post something more substantial, here is a brief item to consider:

http://www.pcpc.org/ministries/singles/singledout.php

Paige Benton Brown gives some very helpful insight on singleness and I appreciate how she makes a point to "correct" some of the unintentional, albeit frustrating viewpoints that often permeate the Church.

Lord-willing, you will hear something more original from me shortly!