Most everyone in my immediate circle of life has heard the news that my mother has been diagnosed with cancer. We don't know much yet about the treatment plan, but are hopefully optimistic that it won't be too bad since it was caught in very early stages. It's funny how quickly that becomes THE topic of conversation - people are shocked, concerned, prayerful, generously desirous to help, eager to give opinions and information, wondering what the future holds...all things that I feel like I am supposed to engage in as well. But I really haven't very much. Maybe it's because my mom's own response to it has been so peaceful and calming. There were no sobs, no weakened demeanor, no doubting panic, no questioning of the Lord's wisdom in it all. She loves Christ and she loves Him more than anything or anyone else.
A blog I frequent by another young woman who is studying biblical counseling, is facing the reality of her father's kidney failure and shared this clip from a letter he wrote to her after finding out his diagnosis: "Uncertainty is a gift because it causes us to look to the only source of real certainty … to the God of all grace who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and is the giver of every good and perfect gift (Js. 1:18). Who is a loving and wise Father who always knows what’s best for his children. Who knows the future and promises out of his wisdom and sovereignty to cause all things to work together for the good to those who love him (Rom. 8:28) and whose will is described as good and acceptable and perfect (Rom. 12:1-2). Who brings trials and uncertainty into our lives that we might learn to trust his wisdom and goodness rather than our own foolishness and finiteness. Who holds the future securely in his omnipotent hands. So while the specifics of the future may be uncertain, the reality is that the BIG THINGS are absolutely certain. My heavenly Father is merciful and gracious and wise and good. How much more certainty does one need??? I can see how God has prepared me for this journey by teaching me to trust in much smaller things through the years of learning to walk by faith. And by his grace I have come to deeply trust my heavenly Father to do what’s best."
WOW! What a blessing to be reared by such faithful and persevering parents. There really is nothing certain in this life. But what is most certain is that I am a redeemed daughter of the Most High God. And the precious fact is that my mother is too. Her final outcome in life is assured. She has been a sweet and selfless slave to her Savior all of her Christian days. She knows the truth that her faith is not something she merely embraced at a point in her past, but it is a daily act of laying down her life for the sake of His Kingdom, seeking to obey His Word...all of it, not simply the things that are easy or convenient. This is biblical womanhood. My most earnest prayer in this situation is that others will see her faithfulness and know that it is genuine, and in seeing that will recognize the absence of it in their own lives, causing them to examine what they are really living for. Living for success or love on this earth are of absolutely no eternal value. It is only to be a successful child of God and to know His perfect love that matter exclusively. It is common to say that true love means learning to love yourself. My mom loves herself least. We are born loving ourselves, always seeking to please self - we don't need to learn how to love ourselves better. We must learn to love ourselves less and love Christ most! Whatever happens in these days of uncertainty, it is His love alone that is always secure and certain.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Salvation comes...
These are the days of Elijah,
Declaring the word of the Lord;
And these are the days of your servant Moses,
Righteousness being restored;
And though these are days of great trials
Of famine and darkness and sword;
Still we are the voice in the desert, crying,
"Prepare ye the way of the Lord!"
Behold He comes riding on the clouds.
Shining like the sun, at the trumpet call.
Lift your voice; it's the year of jublilee;
Out of Zion's hill salvation comes.
Declaring the word of the Lord;
And these are the days of your servant Moses,
Righteousness being restored;
And though these are days of great trials
Of famine and darkness and sword;
Still we are the voice in the desert, crying,
"Prepare ye the way of the Lord!"
Behold He comes riding on the clouds.
Shining like the sun, at the trumpet call.
Lift your voice; it's the year of jublilee;
Out of Zion's hill salvation comes.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Giving up control
Susan Hunt says, "The true woman is not afraid to place herself in a position of submission. She does not have to grasp; she does not have to control. Her fear dissolves in the light of God's covenant promise to be her God and to live with her. Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God."
I love to control things, situations, my time, people. I never realized just how much I love to control until I started to see my resistance to submission well up within me on several recent occasions. I considered myself to be pretty submissive, ready to do what is asked of me and usually with a joyful spirit. However, it's the little things that get me. An event or activity goes differently than I anticipated in my mind, I have to wait for an answer about something I have already planned out, or the future is unclear about a job, and for a single woman - the future is always unclear. The unmarried woman often wonders how she will be able to support herself as she ages, she contemplates the increasing responsibilities of life regarding her family as well as her own well-being. All of these things begin to reveal distinct opportunities to submit. Submit to parents, submit to spiritual leaders, employers, and to God's providence in general. These are the things that begin to uncover the mask of submission. My rebellion is exposed as I am called to do things I have already made determinations about. Things don't turn out how I planned or how I, in my prideful heart, think they should. It is here that I am reminded of Ms. Hunt's words. Whether I submit or not reveals whether or not I am fearful, whether I trust in God's goodness, and ultimately, whether I am submitting to Him. Lord, teach me to be submissive, in all things!
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
I love to control things, situations, my time, people. I never realized just how much I love to control until I started to see my resistance to submission well up within me on several recent occasions. I considered myself to be pretty submissive, ready to do what is asked of me and usually with a joyful spirit. However, it's the little things that get me. An event or activity goes differently than I anticipated in my mind, I have to wait for an answer about something I have already planned out, or the future is unclear about a job, and for a single woman - the future is always unclear. The unmarried woman often wonders how she will be able to support herself as she ages, she contemplates the increasing responsibilities of life regarding her family as well as her own well-being. All of these things begin to reveal distinct opportunities to submit. Submit to parents, submit to spiritual leaders, employers, and to God's providence in general. These are the things that begin to uncover the mask of submission. My rebellion is exposed as I am called to do things I have already made determinations about. Things don't turn out how I planned or how I, in my prideful heart, think they should. It is here that I am reminded of Ms. Hunt's words. Whether I submit or not reveals whether or not I am fearful, whether I trust in God's goodness, and ultimately, whether I am submitting to Him. Lord, teach me to be submissive, in all things!
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Thankfulness
In recent days I have been reflecting on my tendencies to become discouraged by the difficulties of life. I have experienced the ups and downs of life's challenges, particularly spiritual challenges. It is so easy to become downcast, or even just numb to the realities of life because we are overcome at times by periods of profound discouragement. We then become so tired of it all, we seek out ways to just make it through the day, going through the motions and then we retreat to our homes or rooms hoping to escape it all. We stop engaging in meaningful conversations, we avoid having to deal with the ongoing challenges of our personal responsibilities and obligations because we just feel like throwing in the towel. I am writing this during a time in which I don't feel this way. However, God has been good to remind me in these days that a season like that is certainly only around the corner, as the ebb and flow of life always comes back around eventually to such a time.
So how do we deal with the times when circumstances overwhelm us? How do we build ourselves up, being mindful of the kind providences of God even amidst such difficult days? How do we press on even when nothing changes and we feel like things will never get better? Maybe it would be helpful first to ponder what we should not do. I may not know much, but I have learned in my own failures what does not work.
1) Escapism - pulling it together long enough to make it through the day or event and then coming home and just wanting to get away from it all. Instead of falling on my knees, taking the opportunity of my own discouragement as a means to draw near to the Lord over and over, pleading with Him to teach me and guide me through it, I look for ways to escape and not have to think about anything. For me sometimes this means I will look for almost anything to occupy my time so that I can avoid thinking about what's happening. I watch a movie, I go shopping, I even resort to cleaning:) Obviously none of these things are wrong, but one particular mercy of the Lord in my life these past couple of years is not having cable. Because of that alone, I have been forced on many occasions to sit down and let the Lord deal with me in my discouragement. I have had no choice, all other options have been eliminated - and I have ended up the better for it every time. I used to come home after a long day and just want to sit down and "chill" in front of the screen. But this never presses me on in allowing seasons of trial and discouragement to become a source of very precious refinement in the Lord. Piper calls this rampant trifling: "One of the great diseases of our day is trifling. The things with which most people spend most of their time are trivial. And what makes this a disease is that we were meant to live for magnificent causes. None of us is really content with the trivial pursuits of the world. Our souls will never be satisfied with trifles. We live in the Swiss village but stare at the wooden figurines in the window rather than lifting our eyes to the 'everlasting snows'. We live in a perpetual and hopeless struggle to satisfy our longings on trifles. So our souls shrivel. Our lives become trivial. And our capacity for magnificent causes and great worship dies."
2) Complaining - just drowning myself in the pities of my present circumstances. Sometimes I may not verbally complain in a way that brings others attention to it, but my countenance and my attitudes certainly evidence it. I withdraw from others - or at least from any meaningful discussions with them, I give a downcast and tired appearance, everything becomes just one more thing I have to do, causing people to think any request has now become an added burden. But I have clearly forgotten - has not God called me to "spend and be spent" as Paul was? I have noticed this tendency particularly in recent months while in graduate school, working full-time, tending to ministry responsibilities and so on. I end up complaining that I just never have time for myself or time to relax. Well, where do I find any argument in Scripture that teaches that I deserve breaks? Furthermore, in thinking this way, I have chosen to forget all the blessings God has given me. More on that further below...
3) Blameshifting - looking around at all the injustices being done against me, how people are not treating me the way I think they should be or even how I know biblically they should be. The problem here is that I am not looking to my responsibility in the matter at all. I am not seeing the dark days as a time to examine myself and really understand ways in which I am not being faithful to my calling and responsibilities in this life. I am so focused on what everyone else is doing wrong, I have overlooked what the Lord might be trying to prune me of.
So how should I respond instead?
1)Intentionally choosing gratitude and thankfulness. How often do I focus on all that is not going well, or all that I think is lacking in my life? How many times this year have I been able to go on vacations and weekend getaways to visit with special friends and family, had sweet times of fellowship with dear friends over dinner, been given a warm home to live in, a reliable car to drive, TIME to read the Bible and know God more intimately (which I often choose to forgo and instead entertain myself because I need to "escape reality"), a church in which there are many evidences of God's abundant presence in growing people, an income that does allow me to enjoy moments of fun and relaxation, health that has been sustained allowing me to not only carry on in this life but to do it to the fullest...the list goes on and on. But more than all those things...I have Christ! I am in a personal relationship with Him, having access to the graces of redemption!I have been freed from the damning shackles of sin and sent to do His work for His glory. It is all about Him and not about me.
2)Rejoicing in the role God has given me. He has chosen to use me, a piddly clay pot, and I am His slave. That means my life is not mine to dictate how it should go. My life belongs to Him and it is in Him that I find any meaning at all. When things don't look the way I think they should or how I would like for them to, I must remember that it is His purposes that are being accomplished in my life and the lives of those around me, in whatever ways He chooses to accomplish them.
Piper says, "The Bible is replete with instances of saints struggling with sunken spirits. Psalm 19:7 says,'The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul'. This is a clear admission that the soul of the saint sometimes needs to be revived. And if it needs to be revived, in a sense it was 'dead'. The soul of the 'man after God's own heart' needs to be restored. It was dying of thirst and ready to fall exhausted, but God led the soul to water and gave it life again. Faith in future grace takes the promises of God and throws them against despondency. The lesson of Gethsemane and Calvary and the book of Psalms is that all the dark caves of despondency are really tunnels leading to the fields of joy."
So, dear friend, if you are in a season of discouragement or despondency, take heart: the Lord your God is near to you, He is calling you to Himself even now, and you must flee to Him. Do not turn to the distractions of this world, do not sink into frustration and despair, but be thankful! Thank the Lord for allowing such a time to test and refine you for greater service to Him.
Again, from Piper, come these words of reflection: "God wants us to know that when we follow Him, our lives always mean more than we think they do. For the Christian there is always a connection between the ordinary [and even frustrating or disheartening] events of life and the stupendous work of God in history. Everything we do in obedience to God, no matter how small, is significant. It is part of a cosmic mosaic that God is painting to display the greatness of His power and wisdom to the world and to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places (Eph. 3:10). A deep satisfaction of the Christian life is that we are not given over to trifles. Serving a widowed mother-in-law, gleaning in a field, falling in love, having a baby - for the Christian these things are all connected to eternity. They are part of something so much bigger than they seem."
So how do we deal with the times when circumstances overwhelm us? How do we build ourselves up, being mindful of the kind providences of God even amidst such difficult days? How do we press on even when nothing changes and we feel like things will never get better? Maybe it would be helpful first to ponder what we should not do. I may not know much, but I have learned in my own failures what does not work.
1) Escapism - pulling it together long enough to make it through the day or event and then coming home and just wanting to get away from it all. Instead of falling on my knees, taking the opportunity of my own discouragement as a means to draw near to the Lord over and over, pleading with Him to teach me and guide me through it, I look for ways to escape and not have to think about anything. For me sometimes this means I will look for almost anything to occupy my time so that I can avoid thinking about what's happening. I watch a movie, I go shopping, I even resort to cleaning:) Obviously none of these things are wrong, but one particular mercy of the Lord in my life these past couple of years is not having cable. Because of that alone, I have been forced on many occasions to sit down and let the Lord deal with me in my discouragement. I have had no choice, all other options have been eliminated - and I have ended up the better for it every time. I used to come home after a long day and just want to sit down and "chill" in front of the screen. But this never presses me on in allowing seasons of trial and discouragement to become a source of very precious refinement in the Lord. Piper calls this rampant trifling: "One of the great diseases of our day is trifling. The things with which most people spend most of their time are trivial. And what makes this a disease is that we were meant to live for magnificent causes. None of us is really content with the trivial pursuits of the world. Our souls will never be satisfied with trifles. We live in the Swiss village but stare at the wooden figurines in the window rather than lifting our eyes to the 'everlasting snows'. We live in a perpetual and hopeless struggle to satisfy our longings on trifles. So our souls shrivel. Our lives become trivial. And our capacity for magnificent causes and great worship dies."
2) Complaining - just drowning myself in the pities of my present circumstances. Sometimes I may not verbally complain in a way that brings others attention to it, but my countenance and my attitudes certainly evidence it. I withdraw from others - or at least from any meaningful discussions with them, I give a downcast and tired appearance, everything becomes just one more thing I have to do, causing people to think any request has now become an added burden. But I have clearly forgotten - has not God called me to "spend and be spent" as Paul was? I have noticed this tendency particularly in recent months while in graduate school, working full-time, tending to ministry responsibilities and so on. I end up complaining that I just never have time for myself or time to relax. Well, where do I find any argument in Scripture that teaches that I deserve breaks? Furthermore, in thinking this way, I have chosen to forget all the blessings God has given me. More on that further below...
3) Blameshifting - looking around at all the injustices being done against me, how people are not treating me the way I think they should be or even how I know biblically they should be. The problem here is that I am not looking to my responsibility in the matter at all. I am not seeing the dark days as a time to examine myself and really understand ways in which I am not being faithful to my calling and responsibilities in this life. I am so focused on what everyone else is doing wrong, I have overlooked what the Lord might be trying to prune me of.
So how should I respond instead?
1)Intentionally choosing gratitude and thankfulness. How often do I focus on all that is not going well, or all that I think is lacking in my life? How many times this year have I been able to go on vacations and weekend getaways to visit with special friends and family, had sweet times of fellowship with dear friends over dinner, been given a warm home to live in, a reliable car to drive, TIME to read the Bible and know God more intimately (which I often choose to forgo and instead entertain myself because I need to "escape reality"), a church in which there are many evidences of God's abundant presence in growing people, an income that does allow me to enjoy moments of fun and relaxation, health that has been sustained allowing me to not only carry on in this life but to do it to the fullest...the list goes on and on. But more than all those things...I have Christ! I am in a personal relationship with Him, having access to the graces of redemption!I have been freed from the damning shackles of sin and sent to do His work for His glory. It is all about Him and not about me.
2)Rejoicing in the role God has given me. He has chosen to use me, a piddly clay pot, and I am His slave. That means my life is not mine to dictate how it should go. My life belongs to Him and it is in Him that I find any meaning at all. When things don't look the way I think they should or how I would like for them to, I must remember that it is His purposes that are being accomplished in my life and the lives of those around me, in whatever ways He chooses to accomplish them.
Piper says, "The Bible is replete with instances of saints struggling with sunken spirits. Psalm 19:7 says,'The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul'. This is a clear admission that the soul of the saint sometimes needs to be revived. And if it needs to be revived, in a sense it was 'dead'. The soul of the 'man after God's own heart' needs to be restored. It was dying of thirst and ready to fall exhausted, but God led the soul to water and gave it life again. Faith in future grace takes the promises of God and throws them against despondency. The lesson of Gethsemane and Calvary and the book of Psalms is that all the dark caves of despondency are really tunnels leading to the fields of joy."
So, dear friend, if you are in a season of discouragement or despondency, take heart: the Lord your God is near to you, He is calling you to Himself even now, and you must flee to Him. Do not turn to the distractions of this world, do not sink into frustration and despair, but be thankful! Thank the Lord for allowing such a time to test and refine you for greater service to Him.
Again, from Piper, come these words of reflection: "God wants us to know that when we follow Him, our lives always mean more than we think they do. For the Christian there is always a connection between the ordinary [and even frustrating or disheartening] events of life and the stupendous work of God in history. Everything we do in obedience to God, no matter how small, is significant. It is part of a cosmic mosaic that God is painting to display the greatness of His power and wisdom to the world and to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places (Eph. 3:10). A deep satisfaction of the Christian life is that we are not given over to trifles. Serving a widowed mother-in-law, gleaning in a field, falling in love, having a baby - for the Christian these things are all connected to eternity. They are part of something so much bigger than they seem."
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