Not much to say...

Recent days have brought about distractions as I transition from some major responsibilities of life to some new ventures for a time. This transition is exciting and welcomed, though not without some trepidation. As I contemplate my fitness for the task that lies ahead, I am quickly downcast and despairing - if I listen to the accusations of the enemy. Sometimes there are things we want so badly in life, and we pray and pursue with great fervency. But then when we finally get the thing we so desperately desired, we suddenly aren't sure if we want it anymore. Not because it has lost its value, but because the reality of getting it sets in and we begin to realize how it might change us...or worse yet, how it might require us to be changed through challenging and sanctifying circumstances.

The great Scottish preacher, Robert Murray M'Cheyne, said this: "It has always been my aim, and it is my prayer, to have no plans with regard to myself, well assured as I am, that the place where the Savior sees meet to place me must ever be the best place for me."

One thing I have learned by experience as a woman, is that we tend to dislike change. And we tend to have our own agenda and schedule, with a neat little planner to match, and coordinating post-it notes to keep everything organized. Of course, not all women are planners. But most of us have some variation of planning/organization interests and skill. I would even go so far as to say that this tendency may stem from our creation design, as God has used this quality as one of woman's primary means of blessing man as his helper.

Looking back at Eve's fall into sin, and the resulting impact that has had on all of mankind, I would also say that this one area where woman is most gifted, is certainly also an area in which she is the most likely to have her depravity manifested. Do we not take our planning and administrating abilities to the extremes of dominating, ruling over and even criticizing men? We allow the good of how God has created us to become the very means by which we can bring the most frustration and difficulty in our relationships. We know that one of the critical created elements of a woman's role is to be submissive. This role often meets with failure because we are unwilling to let go of ouyr demands. We demand to know what's going on. We demand to be informed about plans and decisions. We demand to be aware of the plans for the week and the meals we will prepare. We don't like operating on the fly, being flexible and easygoing. And typically, our angry and impatient responses reveal a heart that has plotted and planned according to a selfish will.

What is the solution to such matters? To be as Robert Murray M'Cheyne and remind ourselves that nothing is according to our human will. The Bible says that a man plans his ways, but God is the One who directs His steps. So while it is important to be orderly and thoughtful with the time and resources God has given us, we must remember that anything we do is the direct result of the perfect will of our Heavenly Father. He is the One guiding our every step and removing obstacles or opening windows of opportunity. It is He who determines our plans, and there are no regrets. Where He sees fit to place us is His divine and holy will.

This uncertain life...

Most everyone in my immediate circle of life has heard the news that my mother has been diagnosed with cancer. We don't know much yet about the treatment plan, but are hopefully optimistic that it won't be too bad since it was caught in very early stages. It's funny how quickly that becomes THE topic of conversation - people are shocked, concerned, prayerful, generously desirous to help, eager to give opinions and information, wondering what the future holds...all things that I feel like I am supposed to engage in as well. But I really haven't very much. Maybe it's because my mom's own response to it has been so peaceful and calming. There were no sobs, no weakened demeanor, no doubting panic, no questioning of the Lord's wisdom in it all. She loves Christ and she loves Him more than anything or anyone else.

A blog I frequent by another young woman who is studying biblical counseling, is facing the reality of her father's kidney failure and shared this clip from a letter he wrote to her after finding out his diagnosis: "Uncertainty is a gift because it causes us to look to the only source of real certainty … to the God of all grace who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and is the giver of every good and perfect gift (Js. 1:18). Who is a loving and wise Father who always knows what’s best for his children. Who knows the future and promises out of his wisdom and sovereignty to cause all things to work together for the good to those who love him (Rom. 8:28) and whose will is described as good and acceptable and perfect (Rom. 12:1-2). Who brings trials and uncertainty into our lives that we might learn to trust his wisdom and goodness rather than our own foolishness and finiteness. Who holds the future securely in his omnipotent hands. So while the specifics of the future may be uncertain, the reality is that the BIG THINGS are absolutely certain. My heavenly Father is merciful and gracious and wise and good. How much more certainty does one need??? I can see how God has prepared me for this journey by teaching me to trust in much smaller things through the years of learning to walk by faith. And by his grace I have come to deeply trust my heavenly Father to do what’s best."

WOW! What a blessing to be reared by such faithful and persevering parents. There really is nothing certain in this life. But what is most certain is that I am a redeemed daughter of the Most High God. And the precious fact is that my mother is too. Her final outcome in life is assured. She has been a sweet and selfless slave to her Savior all of her Christian days. She knows the truth that her faith is not something she merely embraced at a point in her past, but it is a daily act of laying down her life for the sake of His Kingdom, seeking to obey His Word...all of it, not simply the things that are easy or convenient. This is biblical womanhood. My most earnest prayer in this situation is that others will see her faithfulness and know that it is genuine, and in seeing that will recognize the absence of it in their own lives, causing them to examine what they are really living for. Living for success or love on this earth are of absolutely no eternal value. It is only to be a successful child of God and to know His perfect love that matter exclusively. It is common to say that true love means learning to love yourself. My mom loves herself least. We are born loving ourselves, always seeking to please self - we don't need to learn how to love ourselves better. We must learn to love ourselves less and love Christ most! Whatever happens in these days of uncertainty, it is His love alone that is always secure and certain.

Giving up control

Susan Hunt says, "The true woman is not afraid to place herself in a position of submission. She does not have to grasp; she does not have to control. Her fear dissolves in the light of God's covenant promise to be her God and to live with her. Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God."

I love to control things, situations, my time, people. I never realized just how much I love to control until I started to see my resistance to submission well up within me on several recent occasions. I considered myself to be pretty submissive, ready to do what is asked of me and usually with a joyful spirit. However, it's the little things that get me. An event or activity goes differently than I anticipated in my mind, I have to wait for an answer about something I have already planned out, or the future is unclear about a job, and for a single woman - the future is always unclear. The unmarried woman often wonders how she will be able to support herself as she ages, she contemplates the increasing responsibilities of life regarding her family as well as her own well-being. All of these things begin to reveal distinct opportunities to submit. Submit to parents, submit to spiritual leaders, employers, and to God's providence in general. These are the things that begin to uncover the mask of submission. My rebellion is exposed as I am called to do things I have already made determinations about. Things don't turn out how I planned or how I, in my prideful heart, think they should. It is here that I am reminded of Ms. Hunt's words. Whether I submit or not reveals whether or not I am fearful, whether I trust in God's goodness, and ultimately, whether I am submitting to Him. Lord, teach me to be submissive, in all things!

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10