Not much to say...

Recent days have brought about distractions as I transition from some major responsibilities of life to some new ventures for a time. This transition is exciting and welcomed, though not without some trepidation. As I contemplate my fitness for the task that lies ahead, I am quickly downcast and despairing - if I listen to the accusations of the enemy. Sometimes there are things we want so badly in life, and we pray and pursue with great fervency. But then when we finally get the thing we so desperately desired, we suddenly aren't sure if we want it anymore. Not because it has lost its value, but because the reality of getting it sets in and we begin to realize how it might change us...or worse yet, how it might require us to be changed through challenging and sanctifying circumstances.

The great Scottish preacher, Robert Murray M'Cheyne, said this: "It has always been my aim, and it is my prayer, to have no plans with regard to myself, well assured as I am, that the place where the Savior sees meet to place me must ever be the best place for me."

One thing I have learned by experience as a woman, is that we tend to dislike change. And we tend to have our own agenda and schedule, with a neat little planner to match, and coordinating post-it notes to keep everything organized. Of course, not all women are planners. But most of us have some variation of planning/organization interests and skill. I would even go so far as to say that this tendency may stem from our creation design, as God has used this quality as one of woman's primary means of blessing man as his helper.

Looking back at Eve's fall into sin, and the resulting impact that has had on all of mankind, I would also say that this one area where woman is most gifted, is certainly also an area in which she is the most likely to have her depravity manifested. Do we not take our planning and administrating abilities to the extremes of dominating, ruling over and even criticizing men? We allow the good of how God has created us to become the very means by which we can bring the most frustration and difficulty in our relationships. We know that one of the critical created elements of a woman's role is to be submissive. This role often meets with failure because we are unwilling to let go of ouyr demands. We demand to know what's going on. We demand to be informed about plans and decisions. We demand to be aware of the plans for the week and the meals we will prepare. We don't like operating on the fly, being flexible and easygoing. And typically, our angry and impatient responses reveal a heart that has plotted and planned according to a selfish will.

What is the solution to such matters? To be as Robert Murray M'Cheyne and remind ourselves that nothing is according to our human will. The Bible says that a man plans his ways, but God is the One who directs His steps. So while it is important to be orderly and thoughtful with the time and resources God has given us, we must remember that anything we do is the direct result of the perfect will of our Heavenly Father. He is the One guiding our every step and removing obstacles or opening windows of opportunity. It is He who determines our plans, and there are no regrets. Where He sees fit to place us is His divine and holy will.

Motives for righteousness

Something I have been contemplating a great deal in recent days is to discern my motives for doing things. It is an important thing for the Christian to think about, as we know that it is God who searches and knows our hearts. Only He can fully determine if there are any wicked ways within us. Then the next critical question is to determine whether we continue doing those things once we recognize that our motives may have been wrong. The more complex consideration is when those things we do are good things - like serving and caring for others. We care for each other's children, clean and cook for our families, sing in the choir, volunteer long hours in the nursery, teach a Sunday School class, disciple young people, plan church outreach activities, travel on mission trips around the world, giving money to our church, making meals for those who are ill, and the list goes on and on. Are not these all things that have been commanded in Scripture, as we seek to live out the call to be Christ's disciples by caring for the weak and meeting the needs of the brethren? So if they are good things, what should our response be when we discover that our motives have been tainted by sinful affections? Maybe we are trying to make a good impression on others sometimes. Possibly we are avoiding dealing with a personal area of our own lives by filling up our time with "busy good deeds". And what complicates such matters is when they are coupled with a sincere desire to serve Christ's Bride, the Church. Loving the local body of believers is a good and proper motivation for serving others. But more necessary is a love for Christ Himself, knowing that we are His servants and belong to Him.

So back to the original question - do we continue doing works of righteousness even when we know that our motives are not entirely Christlike and pure? A well-known theologian, John Gerstner, said this: "The thing that really separates us from God is not so much our sin, but our damnable good works". When we do good things - for others, for the Church, or even for God - and are motivated by any thought of gaining favorable standing, then we have certainly missed the mark and allowed sinful assumptions to captivate our minds and hearts. We have moved from being led by the humility of Christ to being provoked by hopes of increasing our self-worth. It is these works that then become a source of judgment upon our own souls rather than an active living out of our transformed hearts. A believer should be motivated by the joy found in Christ as the source of all pleasure and provision. Any holiness or righteousness we exhibit must be recognized as an "alien" quality that has only been cultivated in our hearts by the powerful inner workings of our great and mighty God! It is in these truths that we find our answer. YES, we do continue pressing on in righteous duty even if our hearts are tainted by sinful motivations. Tim Chester says, "There will be times when we do act out of duty, but we do this believing that duty leads to joy, that denying ourselves leads to gaining our life (Mark 8:35-36)". As we obey and continue to seek out opportunities to serve others, meeting needs and helping, then we will experience joy in it. And as we recognize sinful motives that might be hindering us from that true joy then we can and must be quick to repent of them and turn to Christ for renewed purity and passion in sacrificially serving His Church.

Culture of Fatigue

"I'm so tired."
"I don't feel well."
"I need a coffee."
"If I could just have a break and take a couple days off."
"I guess I should call off today. I think I overdid it."
"You're a little under the weather? Well, I guess it's alright if you stay home."
"I just need a day to recuperate."

Sound familiar? It certainly does to me - and not from others, but from my own lips. In fact, let me begin this post making it perfectly clear that my thoughts and convictions on this topic are just as much from seeing my own attitudes as those around me. There are many reasons why I am contemplating this topic. Firstly, because I see my own sinful tendencies to bewail my personal fatigue. And then, too, between being a teacher and being involved in church ministry, I see the constant habits of tardiness and absences, which have become more and more commonplace and easily accepted in our culture. Furthermore, I see these tendencies toward weariness even in the midst of legitimate life hardships amongst friends and family.

In fact, it would seem at times, that we have created a competition of sorts as to who is the most tired or who "deserves" a break most. We say things like, "Well, you don't know what it's like having two jobs and school," or "You won't understand until you have a husband and kids and are trying to juggle all the scheduling and responsibilities of that." This happens when we are looking at ourselves and not the bigger picture. We see our life circumstances as paramount and as more weighty or serious than those of others. Or we even try to justify our tardiness or inability to keep some commitments because we were too busy keeping a more important one. For instance, I might call off work or skip school, only to show up later to a church function. Now, before you spew venomous anger at my boldness in stating such a thing, remember this is not meant as a sweeping indictment. Of course, there may be sincere exceptions to this from time to time. However, in general, when this happens, is it not often because we find merit in these religious works as gaining us better standing with the Lord; yet, the "smaller" things (like keeping your home, helping a friend, exhibiting a commitment to one's job and education) are not viewed with such urgency? I will be transparent here, for the sake of reaffirming that this post is just as much for my own correction as it is intended for the benefit of others. A couple years ago, I took on graduate school and am now in the process of writing my very large thesis to finish up that degree. At the same time, I am a teacher, do tutoring a couple days a week, involved in several ministries at my church that require a significant time commitment, typically don't sleep really well, and my Mom is preparing to undergo surgery for cancer this week. I say all that to give insight into why these things are weighing on my mind. I am quick to complain at times of how tired I am and how my schedule doesn't leave much room for "down time". But when did "down time" become a right? There is no mention of it in Scripture, and when "rest" or a reprieve are referenced in the Bible, it is clear that those times were used to refresh one's soul - not as an excuse to lay around and do nothing.

Are we learning and are we teaching our children to press on and be diligent in the midst of discomfort or weariness? Or are we cultivating habits of giving in at the first sing of fatigue? Are we using biblical language when evaluating ourselves and our children? Or are we quick to term what is actually laziness as boredom or fatigue? Of course there are times of legitimate illness or exhaustion and a genunine need for rest and refreshment. However, are we making those distinctions biblically and from a perspective that is informed by the Word, or from our own self-serving attitudes?

Furthermore, what example are we setting for the lost world, or even in our own homes/churches to the young people who we desire to see pursuing diligent and fervent commitments to the things of the Lord? Does our unsaved boss or our unregenerate young child see clearly our biblical work ethic, one which reflects habits that are self-sacrificing and willing to forgo the personal comforts of relaxation and entertainment? Could this be why we are seeing an ever-increasing tendency toward extended adolescence? Children who never want to grow into adulthood, don't take responsibility seriously, fail to finish anything or finish with excellence?

Our ministries will never be taken seriously as long as we don't take seriously the basic responsibilities God has given us in caring for and maintaining the home, exhibiting diligence in attending work/school, being prompt and showing faithfulness to keep our commitments, and being willing to work hard even when we are tired. One of my pastors has recently said, "The work of the ministry is carried out primarily by tired people." Could that not have been said by the many faithful ministry laborers from years past? Did not Paul work unceasingly for the welfare of the churches? Did not the Puritans labor with undistracted diligence and exhibit amazing fortitude? Yet, even in closing out this topic, I am quickly reminded to examine all these matters in light of the motives behind them. Being prompt, diligent and showing forth reliable work ethic can easily become a "work of righteousness," one which can be held forth as some sort of evidence that one deserves recognition. Battling the temptations toward laziness in this life - for the believer - must be done out of an overflow of his love for Christ. Paul sacrificially served and ministered and worked hard, not to gain favor with God, but as an outflow of his own calling from and love for his Lord and Savior.