A Troubled Mind...

In recent months I have spoken to or heard of so many who are experiencing difficulties and troubles in their walk on this earth. Life is hard. And sometimes we forget that God has not promised an easy and painless road. In fact, when we thoroughly examine the Scriptures, we find that those who are faithful often experience the most challenging circumstances this life can bring. Even just in recent days, as I was talking with a dear friend, we were discussing how we are sometimes fearful to admit just how dark our minds are in the midst of trouble. We think that by honestly admitting our struggles, we will somehow offend another because maybe they have experience far worse. We think, "I can't possibly confess to having bouts of joylessness or cloudy thoughts because others have lost a child or experienced the death of a lifetime spouse. Who am I to compare my circumstances?" The danger in this type of thinking is that it denies the power of our own depravity. Being sinful people who live in a world that is consumed by sin and its all-encompassing effects, we cannot deny that Satan would love nothing more than to pull us into utter misery, bringing us to a point where we choose to merely go through the motions and remain paralyzed by despair.

Typically when we meet the darkest of days in heart and mind, we are often quick to think as Job's friends did and begin accusing ourselves, thinking there must be some form of twisted punishment for unrepented sins. And while we must attend to self-examination and be certain to resolve any identifiable sins - as well as imploring God to reveal unknown sins from the depths of our hearts - we must also receive these inner turmoils of spirit as a further proof of the Savior's love for us in bringing about greater sanctification.

During such dark moments, particularly if they persist for many days, weeks and months - even years, we are eager to be consoled by the soothing comforts of a friend or loved one, even a pastor or spiritual mentor. We go searching for their assuring presence, and yet oftentimes are disappointed. While God has provided such relationships within the covenant community, it is tempting to be unrealistic in our expectations. When we are disappointed by mortals, we forget our own tendency to disappoint. We become so consumed with how we are "feeling" and how we are not being tended to, that we overlook our own selfish inclinations. We think much too highly of ourselves and so very little of others. We want mercy poured out upon us, and yet refuse to extend it to others.

I have been reading a book by Timothy Rogers (late 1600's), entitled Trouble of Mind and the Disease of Melancholy. He has brought so much clarity to my own understanding of this topic, and so instead of wasting my words trying to come up with some fresh angle, I think it would be most helpful to simply share some of my favorite passages from my readings:

Who can tell the very cause why God allows one religious man to be in affliction for several years, while another, who is perhaps no better than he, scarcely knows what affliction means? One shall be crossed and disappointed in all that he goes about; he meets with losses in his estate and in his family, and his health is damaged, while another prospers, is well, and dies an easy death. In what a smooth path do some good people go to heaven, while others are torn with thorns and briars, and go mourning and weeping all the way! Who dares to presume to say why this is so, and not otherwise?

When we say that God does this or that for such and such a reason, we must do it with great humility, and only so far as the Scripture is our guide. And from that we may learn that God suffers His people to be under the apprehensions of His wrath, and under long afflictions, for such ends as these:

1. It is certainly good for the universe, for God does nothing in vain. And when any part suffers, it is for the good of the whole.

2. He does this so that others may be convinced by their very senses what a dreadful God He is, and how terrible a thing it is to sin. Sometimes, in the extraordinary joys which His love produces in the hearts of His people, He shows heaven upon earth; and sometimes, in the fears, amazements, and terrors of awakened consciences, He shows hell upon earth - and both are designed for the good of others by His wise and holy providence.

3. God does it to keep us from carnal security all our lives. This will make us humble and walk softly all our days, remembering that we are not, every hour, any more than what God makes us to be. If He ever left us for but one poor moment, where would we be?

4. God does this to convince us of His own all-sufficiency, and the nothingness of ourselves and of all other creatures. In our prosperity, we are apt to think that this or that creature, this or that person, will yield us relief; but in spiritual troubles God shows us that all men, even the best of men, are vanity, and those from whom we expect the greatest help do us the least good. Nay, those watchmen of whose skill and kindness we have the greatest opinion are frequently allowed to smite us by their imprudent or harsh speeches and censures, so that we may not look to those cisterns which we find to be broken ones, but to that heaven whence all consolation flows. When we go to created things with the most raised expectations, we meet with the most unlooked-for disappointments. And indeed, while we look only to them, we are like people who go begging to the doors of the poor. Our fellow creatures have nothing but what they receive; unless God helps us, they cannot help either. Unless the wind blows, neither all the skill of the pilot nor all the industry of the mariner can make the ship sail forward to the port. We think that if our friend was sick, we would hasten to his help and immediately relieve him; but our best Friend stays a long while before He delivers us, not from any pleasure that He takes in our sorrows, but that He may render His power and His wisdom more illustrious. He wants us to see that all other things are inconsiderable, but that He is all-sufficient.

There are several more purposes that I will post here in the next couple of days as I continue to contemplate God's ever-present hand of providence flowing in the lives of His people. May we ponder such truths that are offered from the greatest depths of His treasures. It is in His life-giving words that we can find peace...and only there! Praise Him for His faithfulness in using mere men to reveal such things to our stubborn hearts!

"Master save us, lest we perish!" (Matthew 8)