Weaknesses

I am weak. Anyone who knows me at all knows this. I am quick to judge. I am slow to see my sin sometimes. There are days when I sink under my fear of man. I have a lot of pride. I make assumptions about what people mean and then respond according to my assumptions instead of truth. I don’t love people enough. When I do love people, there are often still conditions attached to that love. I am self-pitying. I don’t always believe all that God is for me in Christ Jesus. I forget to crucify my flesh moment by moment and quickly become consumed with my perceived needs or rights. I think that bad circumstances are the result of my personal failure to pray rightly one morning or because I failed to have my quiet time that day. I am weak.

These weaknesses are rooted in my sinful heart and that has become more and more evident in recent weeks. Before I came to California I was praying specifically that the Lord would use this time away from my normal routines and responsibilities, asking Him do a work in my heart that would be lasting. The more we grow as Christians, it is natural to see more and more of our sin – not so much the behaviors anymore but the inner workings of the heart. If we don’t then we should take heed and examine our spiritual progress. God has definitely taught me many things this month here at school. I pray that my heart will be fervent and steadfast to persevere in imitating my great Savior. May the leaves of sin continually be pruned away and the righteous attitudes of Christ be cultivated deep within my heart.

So I am weak. But my Lord says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9,10). Obviously, this doesn’t mean that my sin is an unimportant issue. But it does mean that I have hope; hope that my weaknesses will point to the righteousness and power of my precious Jesus. Even my best deeds and most biblically sound thoughts are still infested with sinful meditations. So my only hope is to wait upon Him – “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my HOPE is from Him” (Psalm 62:5). My only hope to grow in Christlikeness and to overcome these weaknesses is to call upon the Lord for help! May His power then be the only thing that others can look to when they see my weaknesses fall away. My weaknesses reflect the power of God!