Biblical femininity for the single woman

I have been asked several times in recent days how a single young woman is to display properly biblical femininity even if she does not marry or bear children. This is often a difficult question, as I certainly have not made a conscious decision to forgo marriage or children. In God's providence, He simply has not brought a man into my path who either lines up with my spiritual goals, or who is interested in pursuing me for the purpose of establishing a family. I too, like many young women, desire to live out my creation design as a wife and mother. However, I cannot force or create a relationship that has not been ordered by a good and benevolent God. I may write several further posts on this topic, as I continue to study and meditate on it. For now, though, I would like to share a quote from a book that has been a huge encouragement to me in my pursuit of living out the call to redeemed womanhood:

"A woman can accentuate her femininity or she can detract from it, but she cannot change it. Our femininity is a gift of grace from a loving God. It is not only in the context of marriage that we can express our femininity. We were created feminine; that is not a state conferred in marriage. We do not wait until we reach the marriage altar to give full expression to our femininity. Though it looks slightly different when we are single than when we are married, all women are called to display their femininity in a variety of relationships." (Carolyn Mahaney)

In future posts, I will delve more deeply into the manner in which single women can express their femininity. Because we most certainly do, and we either express in ways that glorify God and validate His creation design to a lost world, or we detract from it by exemplifying a lethargic and even detrimental vision of femininity.

Great new music!

I came across this twin-brother duo a few weeks back through a link on Facebook. I bought their album on ITunes and it has greatly ministered to me. Check it out and be encouraged!

Gold, frankincense and myrrh

I have been doing a slow study through the book of Matthew since about a month ago. I got interested in this book again after rereading the Sermon on the Mount on an airplane ride home. For some reason it hit me and impacted me severely during those couple of hours in ways it never has before. So I decided I wanted to study it in further depth, but figured I would most benefit from studying the entire book. Little did I know what a treasure I was in for. I am only in chapter two, and have been spending several days on small passages. A dear friend gave me a commentary on the book of Matthew by James Mongtgomery Boice (it has been sitting on my shelf for almost a year!) and it has been pivotal in my study.

Last week as I was going through chapter 2, verses 1-12, Boice spent a good deal of time discussing the three gifts that the wise men brought. Now this may be old news to some people, but for me, a careful study of the intricate meaning behind these gifts took my breath away! Firstly, gold has always been a significant and expected gift for a king. It was a sign of their rule, and many great leaders were buried with their golden treasures. Right away, this connection points to Christ's Kingship even as a tiny baby. Secondly, the incense was especially meaningful, as it was used in the temple worship service to make the offering fragrant. This too attaches particular meaning to the Babe, as it points to Christ as our Great High Priest. Christ is Who makes our worship acceptable, a "sweet smelling aroma" floating up to the Father in Heaven. There is nothing in our worship that makes it pleasing other than its direct flow from the righteous work of Christ on our behalf. Finally, the myrrh. Typically a new baby would never have received this gift. It would have been considered offensive and rude, as myrrh was used as an embalming agent for burials. But in relationship to Christ, it was a most significant gift, as it points to His death on the cross for sinners.

William Barclay notes, "Gold for a king, frankincense for a priest, myrrh for one that was to die - these were the gifts of the wise men and even at the cradle of Christ, they foretold that He was to be the true King, the perfect High Priest, and in the end, the Supreme Saviour of them."

Boice then sums up this passage by admonishing the reader to offer Him our gifts: "myrrh, a symbol of the spiritual death of your sin, dying to self and living for Christ; incense, a symbol of your worship, which is to offer your life to Christ as a your sacrifice; and gold, a symbol of you acknowledgement of the right of Christ to rule in your life"!

Speech on the web

Lately I have come across so many thoughtless, hurtful and highly suspect "words", particularly on social networking sites like Facebook. By giving status updates about all the complaints and personal injuries one has against others, I am wondering if we are simply disregarding God's instructions for our speech by excusing our "web words" as not really being speech. It would seem that we are so quick to air our dirty laundry all over the place, compelled to share it urgently and openly with anyone willing to listen. Furthermore, we really don't even ask if anyone wants to hear, we just type! While I appreciate so much the many thoughtful blogs, helpful websites, and even the encouraging connections that can be made on sites like Facebook, it is quite clear that oftentimes more harm is being done than good. I have learned this lesson the hard way in my own life, regretting an email sent or a message forwarded. Looking back, there were times I wanted to just hit "delete" only to realize there was no way to delete it from someone's mind once they had seen it. When we get ready to type something and hit the "send" or "post" button, let us one last time read carefully what we have composed and hold it up to the light of Philippians 4:8 - "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Now if Paul is admonishing us to think on such things, then imagine how much more we should be speaking of such things. It is so hard to train our thoughts onto right things, things of Christ, and His redemption and His forgiveness...His mercy and compassion in the midst of trying times. Our words are a reflection of our thoughts. So if I am posting things that are at all untrue, dishonorable, unjust, impure, ugly, grumbling, a bad report...then that is a reflection of my heart and my mind. May the Lord guard us carefully from such things, for it is a serious matter to put something out there for others to see, where it can be misinterpreted, altered and repeated, or at best, simply not exalting Christ and His work in our lives. It is sad that I can take one look at someones status update or read a short email and immediately sense frustration, bitterness, unforgiveness, discontentment. Is the Lord pleased by such things? Is His name made great upon the earth by such things? I may sound trivial right now, but God has commanded us to glorify Him in ALL things! Take heed so that you will not want to take back...Don't lost heart though, there is a remedy. What opportunities have you had today to glorify God? What special blessings has God provided for you? What ways can you use your internet speech to draw others to Christ by exalting the Gospel? What opportunities have you passed up to bring praise to God for all the small ways that He has caused you to persevere, for His abundant showing of forgiveness for all your sins? These are the things that I would encourage you to reflect on. What is your status in Christ Jesus our Lord?

Glorifying God With Our Time...

Working in the college ministry at church, I have a wonderful privilege of interacting with some truly amazing and precious young ladies. In recent months, it has come to my attention more and more the dilemma that many young adults face in learning to manage their time in a way that best serves the Kingdom! I am right there in the same boat, trying to discern how God wants me to use the hours He has given me each day. So, for a recent lesson in my small group, I decided to speak on this topic. It was such a blessing within my group to share in discussion and prayer the ways that we are called to live each day for the glory of God and how that looks for us as young women in practical application. Here are some key points from that lesson:

TIME was created perfectly by God for our good and His glory! When we say there is not enough time in our day, we are maligning the character of God by claiming that He did not get it right somehow. The harsh reality is that we simply don't manage our time wisely! (Rom. 12:1-2; Eph. 5:15-16; Col. 4:5; I Pt. 1:17-19)

Rising early truly is an essential part of managing our time wisely. We are more effective and energized when we first rise in the morning. Furthermore, if we have children, then it is helpful to rise a bit before them to begin our day alone with God before the distractions of parenting arise. We cannot impose a legalistic rule about this specific point, but it is a biblical principle supported in passages such as Psalm 5:3 and Proverbs 31:15.

Although properly managing our time has no bearing ultimately on one's justification, it is a reflection of being a good steward of the health, mental clarity, stamina, hospitable femininity, and compassionate heart for service that God has placed within us.

Remember, the Lord has ordained your time and has appointed your seasons (Ecc. 3:1-8). Don't disregard His careful planning by failing to exercise self-discipline in managing your time. And always keep in mind that your plans are only accomplished through His mercies, which are new every morning (Lam. 3).

"What men do by themselves they do for themselves. They eat their own fruit, devouring the praise of what they do. Only the Christian who does everything by Christ does it all for Him. He takes his nourishment from Him into whom he has been grafted; and this is what makes him fruitful" (William Gurnall, The Christian in Complete Armor, Vol. II).

A Mighty Fortress

This has been one of my favorite hymns for several years (especially during the summer I spent in South Africa) and yesterday, my pastor read it aloud during his sermon. It was so appropriately linked to what he was preaching on and to the current state of affairs in our country: "let goods and kindred go". With such an emphasis placed on materialistic security and a society screaming that we deserve some sort of bailout for all of our own irresponsible and wicked behavior, Martin Luther's words remind us of the true purpose of living - for the glory of God and His eternal kingdom!

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper he amid the flood
Of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe
Doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great;
And armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.

Did we in our own strength confide,
Our striving would be losing;
Were not the right Man on our side,
The Man of God's own choosing.
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is he,
Lord Sabaoth his name,
From age to age the same,
And he must win the battle.

And though this world, with devils filled,
Should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph through us.
The prince of darkness grim,
We tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure,
For lo! his doom is sure;
One little word shall fell him.

That Word above all earthly powers,
No thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours
Through him who with us sideth;
Let goods and kindred go,
This mortal life also;
The body they may kill:
God's truth abideth still;
His kingdom is for ever.

The movies

I don't have a TV in my room, so I only catch programs or movies a couple times a week either on my parents' TV or at a friend's house. Lately, there have been a couple occasions where I watched something that turned out making me feel far worse afterward and I probably should have tuned out in the midst of it. Please don't take this the wrong way, as if I am implying some legalistic standard of moral superiority. In fact, I am fully admitting that I do not monitor my thoughts when engaging in entertainment near to the degree that I should. However, this quote has provoked me to much thought this week:

"There are almost no movies that don't ask me to be entertained by attitudes, motives, and actions which Jesus died to eradicate. My heart will not allow me to be entertained by worldliness." (John Piper)

A dear friend

This photo is of a very special friend whom I have mentioned throughout the past six months on here from time to time. She was diagnosed with cancer last summer and has been through chemo and just recently had surgery. I traveled to NY last week to keep her company during her recovery and it was a very encouraging time for us. Seeing her radiant smile reminds me of this favorite quote from Phil Ryken speaking on the biblical woman:

"A woman is made beautiful by what she DOES. True beauty comes from nurturing the inward woman. Women need to remember that if nature has made them plain, grace can make them beautiful, and if nature has made them beautiful, good deeds can add to their beauty."

Home

This will be brief as I am exhausted from a long day of traveling back from the Northeast, visiting a good friend who is recovering from surgery as well as stopping in on my sister and her family for a couple extra days. As I was coming home this morning on the airplane ride, I did what I do every time. I began to reflect on this most recent journey, how fast time went by, what I did or didn't do that I wished I had, things I said wrong or didn't say at all...all this while listening to my favorite songs on my IPOD. I love to travel. I love to zone out on the plane in complete anonymity and just ponder the recent life circumstances. As I was listening, the song "Come, Lord Jesus" by Andrew Peterson began to play. I do this next thing almost every time I travel as well...a good song finds me, turns my attention to the Lord and just sinks into my heart and I cry. Not out of sadness or despair, but out of a longing to be freed from this world and to see others be freed from it as well, but all the while torn about the lost condition of so many who I would still desire to see come to Christ. It is always an especially meaningful time of prayer as I can then turn to the only possible comfort in my Savior. Our God is a faithful and merciful God, a God who restores the mind and heals the broken. His Words bring goodness and LIFE! Oh, how I want to speak and hear such beautiful words! Disappointments will always come, in myself and those around me, but there is a future filled with perfection. I came across this quote today on another blog I read from time to time, and was so encouraged:
"Jesus will make the world our perfect home again. We will no longer be living "east of Eden," always wandering and never arriving. We will come, and the Father will meet us and embrace us, and we will be brought into the feast" (Tim Keller, The Prodigal God).

The only merits toward salvation rest in the righteous fulfillments of Christ

"But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us...Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ...For He (God) made Him (Christ) who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. Sirs, what must I do to be saved? So they said, 'Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved...'"
Titus 3:4,5; 2 Corinthians 5:18,21; Acts 16:30,31