And such were some of you...

In recent years, the evangelical world has seen a number of well-respected figures fall from their thrones of influence. Pastors have been caught in adulterous affairs, TV evangelists has been accused of swindling thousands of dollars from faithful viewers, Christian stars have left their spouses for another lover (or even for many reasons that are not biblical grounds for divorce) and then remarried...and now beloved recording artists have confessed to living an "alternative" lifestyle. I have been pondering this post for several days, and still am uncertain as to whether I have allowed it to settle soundly enough in my mind. I do not want my speech to be hasty or overly judgmental. However, I think it is imperative that the Church (meaning those who are sincere believers in the Lordship of Jesus Christ and who have repented of their sin and turned to Him in complete faith) do take a position on such matters. Why? Because we are commanded to take a stand on the issue of sin...both in our personal lives and in the lives of others who name themselves as Christians. It is not my obligation to judge those who do not confess Christ as Savior, for they will be judged by God the Father Himself at the great white throne. But the Bible clearly tells us that we must lovingly "judge" one another within the Church by providing accountability and clarity when we see issues of sin manifested in one another's lives. In fact, chapter 5 of 1st Corinthians tells us that we are to judge within the Church concerning sexual immorality and to purge from the Church those who are unrepentant. We must deal swiftly and biblically with sin in our personal lives and with the sins that affect the body of Christ corporately.

Unfortunately, by taking a stand on such issues, I will most likely be labeled as unloving, prejudicial, arrogant and self-righteous. The verse, "let him without sin cast the first stone," inevitably becomes the battle cry against Christians who speak biblical truth in the face of such behaviors. Yet it is my Christian love which compels me to write. My love for Christ demands that I love His Word and love others that He has created - and in that love, I must call them to repentance so that they may be reconciled to the Savior. Is it not precious and faithful love that has been lavished upon me when a fellow brother or sister in Christ has graciously pointed out my sins and calls me to repentance? Sometimes I am so blind to my own deceitful ways that it takes the bold and yet compassionate admonitions of a Christian friend to draw me back into a clear understanding of God and His ways. The Christian life is rooted in perseverance, and we clearly depend on one another in order to persevere. Yes, God is the One who holds my soul in the palm of His hand, but He often uses fellow Christians to point my soul back to Him.

Thankfully, in God's providence, He has brought me to a church in which the love and forgiveness of Christ is seen on a consistent basis, as wayward members are welcomed back into fellowship upon their repentance and restoration. It is a joyful time when a brother or sister has come to recognize their sinful ways and then seeks to be reconciled to God and those in the Church. I have personally experienced this when I have been confronted of sins observed in my own life, but am always reminded of the love that the one confronting has for me and that their desire is for my eternal welfare. When an adulterous man has sought forgiveness and true biblical restoration, it has been granted. When a rebellious young adult who has lashed out against her family, returns in love and sorrow over her sin, she is welcomed just as the prodigal son. When I am unloving, bitter or thoughtless in my attitudes toward others, my church family is often eager to extend mercy and forgiveness.

Regarding the issue of sexual sin, and specifically, homosexuality, I would be a liar to say that Christians typically approach this issue with love and graciousness. Anyone who truly understands the grace that has been granted them in Christ Jesus would be eager to extend such compassion and mercy. We are often quick to lay down accusations filled with arrogance and pride. However, just because some in the Church do not deal with the fornicator, adulterer, or liar with Christ-exalting humility, does not mean that we lay aside God's Word altogether and allow sin to reign freely.

One of the most beautiful and obvious examples of Christian love that calls one out of sin is found in the dialogue between Christ and the woman at the well. Here, Christ confronted the woman with the fact that she had numerous husbands, explained to her the way of eternal life, and then told her to "go and sin no more". He loved her and so He told her the truth about herself. He did not offer her a salvation that was free for her own interpretation, as we so often do. The grace was freely given, but a manifestation of true faith was that the woman responded in obedience. There is no such thing as truth if it is not absolute, so saying that truth is whatever I make it to be or interpret it as, makes my "truth" merely an opinion. Jennifer Knapp, like all of us when we live in the deceitfulness of the sinful flesh, is seeking to measure her faith by experience instead of by God's Word. She has become her own source of authority instead of God being her authority. Therefore, her truth has become relative.

May we be quick, believers, to lovingly and gently call out the sin of a Christian brother or sister. But may we be even quicker to examine our own sinful hearts and "lay aside every weight which so easily entangles". May the Lord use such things to keep His Bride (the Church) pure and undefiled. May He show mercy and wisdom to Jennifer Knapp, and the many like her, who are so driven by emotion and experience, and bring them to a proper understanding of His Word, interpreting it as it is and not for how we would like for it to be. And may He be gracious to us all, for He is coming for us one day, and that may be very soon. May we be anticipating that day, preparing ourselves as the Bride does for the Bridegroom, without spot or blemish, and savoring Christ in all things.

"But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. They said to you, 'In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.' It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt, save others by snatching them out of the fire, to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh" (Jude 17-23).

Contrasting between God and man

My posting has been rather sparse this month, as I am in the midst of some very hectic times, as well as some pivotal self-reflection. However, as I was driving home tonight, the Lord was so good to use a favorite song to point out the vast divide between His glorious and perfect character and my fleshly, self-inflated character. One of my favorite songs on the Gateway Worship album is "You are Good," and as I was listening to it with the windows down on a beautiful evening, here is what stood out to me:

"Your kindness is forever...Your goodness if forever...Your mercy is forever." How different from God I truly am, and how I long to attain more diligently the character of His Son, Christ Jesus. My kindness is so limited by whether others treat me kindly. Was not Christ's kindness always perfect and filled with compassion to those around Him? And yet I find it difficult to be kind even for a moment sometimes. I become easily annoyed and frustrated with people when they don't do things my way, and I take their disobedience or mistreatments more as a personal offense instead of being righteously concerned about how they might be sinning against the Lord. My goodness is often hindered by selfish motives, prideful pursuits for attention and vain glory. Christ was always filled with a goodness that was concerned only with His Father receiving all the honor and praise. And my mercy is so restrained by the evil unforgiveness that remains deep within my heart. Christ told the woman at the well all of her sin, and yet was so eager to spread His loving wings over her, calling her to repentance and yet doing so in a manner of biblical affection. Even my best acts of love towards others are tainted by my inner desire to be loved and affirmed.

Lord, teach me to be kind in the ways You are kind. Train me to be filled with goodness, a righteous goodness that is not of this world. Mold me to be merciful, remembering the sins of others no more and being quick to extend an arm of sweet unity in the body.

Feminism as Fraud...

Taken from the book, "Verses of Virtue" by Elizabeth Beall Phillips:

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The Lord standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people...

Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making tinkling with their feet; Therefore, the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts.

In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon, the chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers. The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings, the rings, and nose jewels, the changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins, the glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods and the veils.

And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and instead of beauty...

And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.

Selections from Isaiah 3 and 4

I (the writer of this blog) would challenge each of us women to examine our own hearts and lives, to see in what ways are we stretching forth our necks, seeking attention, eliciting a response from those around us? Are we being led about and motivated by the worldly treasures of beauty and materialism? Are we using the mediums of Facebook and such to proclaim our news to the world, bringing glory to ourselves instead of God, or to complain about someone/something that is disturbing us, just so that we can seek out agreeable comments to validate our frustration? Trust me, I am guilty here as well. Oftentimes, we throw discretion out the window for the sake of getting the attention we have searched to find for so long. We seek affirming comments about ourselves by openly publicizing our beauty, our relationships, our possessions, our successes. We must take heed, for it will all vanish in a moment, at the providential decree of the Lord Almighty, who will not tolerate the disloyalty of our wayward hearts!

Encouraging Resources for Women...

Several of my college girls, as well as friends and peers have asked what books I would recommend to women desiring to learn more about biblical womanhood, singleness, marriage and parenting. Because I am working on my graduate school thesis and have been reading non-stop, I thought I would make a list that way it would be a quick reference I could pass along from time to time. Anyway, I am sure there are many I have either not read or not included in this list, so by no means is it exhaustive, but hopefully it might be helpful in some way. I also cannot say that I would 100% agree with every thought presented in each book or site. However, overall, I would say they offer quite reliable and biblically sound materials, and as with anything, should be understood with God-wrought spiritual discernment.

Blogs:
http://girltalkblogs.com
http://solofemininity.blogs.com
http://affolter-mel.blogspot.com (**this is my blog and I include it merely because I often place links and quotes of other helpful resources on it)

Biblical Websites for Women:
http://www.girltalkhome.com/
http://cbmw.org
http://www.womencounselingwomen.com
http://gnpcb.org/sites/total.truth
http://truewomanhood.wordpress.com
http://biblicalwomanhoodonline.com
http://girlsgonewise.com

Modesty:
http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey

Biblical & Theological Encouragement:
http://a1m.org – ministry of Steve Camp
http://www.epm.org – Randy Alcorn provides a God-exalting picture of finances
http://boundless.org
http://joshharris.com – ministry of the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Books:
Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God – Lisa Tatlock & Pat Ennis
Biblical Womanhood in the Home – Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Big Truths For Young Hearts – Bruce Ware
By Design – Susan Hunt
Chance to Die, A – Amy Carmichael
Comforts From the Cross – Elyse Fitzpatrick
Counsel From the Cross – Elyse Fitzpatrick
Damsels in Distress – Martha Peace
Depression, A Stubborn Darkness – Ed Welch
Designing a Lifestyle That Pleases God – Lisa Tatlock & Pat Ennis
Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? – Carolyn McCulley
Disciplines of a Godly Woman – Barbara Hughes
Divine Design – John MacArthur
Does Christianity Squash Women? – Rebecca Jones
Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart – John Ensor
Don’t Make Me Count to Three: A Mom’s Look.. – Ginger Plowman
Elizabeth Prentiss: More Love to Thee (a biography) – Sharon James
Evangelical Feminism: A New Path to Liberalism? – Wayne Grudem
Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth – Wayne Grudem
Excellent Wife, The – Martha Peace
Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God – Noel Piper
Female Piety – John Angell James
Feminine Appeal – Carolyn Mahaney
Feminist Mistake, The – Mary Kassian
Fine China is for Single Women Too – Lydia Brownback
Freedom of Power and Forgiveness, The – John MacArthur
Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild – Mary Kassian
Give Me This Mountain – Dr. Helen Roseveare
God, Marriage and Family – Andreas Kostenberger
God’s Design For Women: Biblical Womanhood For Today – Sharon James
Gospel Primer for Christians, A – Milton Vincent
Gospel Powered Parenting – William P. Farley
He Gave Us a Valley – Dr. Helen Roseveare
Helper by Design – Elyse Fitzpatrick
Holding Hands, Holding Hearts – Richard Phillips
Idols of the Heart – Elyse Fitzpatrick
In Trouble and In Joy – Sharon James
Instructing a Child’s Heart – Tedd Tripp
Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands – Paul David Tripp
Legacy of Biblical Womanhood – Susan Hunt
Let Me Be a Woman – Elisabeth Elliot
Lies Women Believe & Lies Young Women Believe – Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage – Jay Adams
One Year Book of Hope, The – Nancy Guthrie
Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety – Elyse Fitzpatrick
Peacemaking Women – Tara Barthel & Judy Dabler
Practicing Hospitality – Pat Ennis & Lisa Tatlock
Precious in God’s Sight – Pat Ennis
Preparing for Marriage God’s Way – Wayne Mack
Radical Womanhood – Carolyn McCulley
Relationships, A Mess Worth Making – Tim Lane and Paul Tripp
Rich Single Life, The – Andrew Farmer
Running Scared: Fear, Worry and the God of Rest – Ed Welch
Shepherding a Child’s Heart – Tedd Tripp
Shopping For Time – Carolyn Mahaney (& daughters)
Solving Marriage Problems – Jay Adams
Stepping Heavenward – Elizabeth Prentiss
Sweet and Bitter Providence, A – John Piper
This Momentary Marriage – John Piper
Total Truth – Nancy Pearcy
Treasuring God in Our Traditions – Noel Piper
True Woman – Susan Hunt
Twelve Extraordinary Women – John MacArthur
War of Words – Paul Tripp
When Sinners Say “I Do” – Dave Harvey
Woman After God’s Own Heart, A – Elizabeth George
Women Helping Women: A Biblical Guide – Elyse Fitzpatrick & Carol Cornish
Women’s Ministry in the Church – J. Ligon Duncan & Susan Hunt

Christ the Lord is Risen Today...

In a few hours it will be Resurrection Sunday. As I contemplate the meaning of all that is found in Christ's death, burial and resurrection, I think specifically this year what it means to me - as a Christian woman. This past year has been one in which I have come to a deeper love and understanding of my created purpose not just as a human, but as a woman. There is meaning and value in Christ for me as a woman. Sometimes when this topic is discussed, I think people tend to feel like we say things like this merely to make us feel better about being a woman, as if it is so difficult and oppressive. But that is certainly not the intention behind my understanding and study of it, so do not misunderstand me. One of my pastors recently said to me, "What is one of the reasons I get to sit behind this desk?" Now, obviously, not just anyone can be a pastor. It is a life calling, one that must be validated by the Spirit. However, what he was pointing out was that one reason he can sit behind that desk is because he is a man. Scripture teaches that the elder or pastor of the flock is to be a man, not a woman.

So...how does this relate to Easter Sunday? Well, indirectly, it relates in that I celebrate Easter as a woman, praising God for the redemption I have found in Him as my Creator and Savior! I have heard some scholars/writers point out how it was to women that Christ first revealed Himself after His resurrection from the dead, and they even say that this fact should be an encouragement to all women of the value and dignity that Christ chose to bestow on women in doing such a thing. Now, I don't want to take it that far necessarily, because I do think that sometimes we place more meaning on something to the point that it may take away from the central importance, which in this case, is that Christ was raised from the dead! His resurrection is not to be used as an opportunity to validate woman's significance, but to validate the prophecies of God's Word and to bring complete fulfillment to the promises we have in Him. And I rejoice in this reality as a saved woman!

Susan Hunt says, "The true woman is the real thing. The Master has set eternity in her heart and is conforming her to His own image. There is consistency in her outward behavior because it is dictated by the reality of her inner life. That reality is her redemption. The true woman is a reflection of her redemption."

This uncertain life...

Most everyone in my immediate circle of life has heard the news that my mother has been diagnosed with cancer. We don't know much yet about the treatment plan, but are hopefully optimistic that it won't be too bad since it was caught in very early stages. It's funny how quickly that becomes THE topic of conversation - people are shocked, concerned, prayerful, generously desirous to help, eager to give opinions and information, wondering what the future holds...all things that I feel like I am supposed to engage in as well. But I really haven't very much. Maybe it's because my mom's own response to it has been so peaceful and calming. There were no sobs, no weakened demeanor, no doubting panic, no questioning of the Lord's wisdom in it all. She loves Christ and she loves Him more than anything or anyone else.

A blog I frequent by another young woman who is studying biblical counseling, is facing the reality of her father's kidney failure and shared this clip from a letter he wrote to her after finding out his diagnosis: "Uncertainty is a gift because it causes us to look to the only source of real certainty … to the God of all grace who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and is the giver of every good and perfect gift (Js. 1:18). Who is a loving and wise Father who always knows what’s best for his children. Who knows the future and promises out of his wisdom and sovereignty to cause all things to work together for the good to those who love him (Rom. 8:28) and whose will is described as good and acceptable and perfect (Rom. 12:1-2). Who brings trials and uncertainty into our lives that we might learn to trust his wisdom and goodness rather than our own foolishness and finiteness. Who holds the future securely in his omnipotent hands. So while the specifics of the future may be uncertain, the reality is that the BIG THINGS are absolutely certain. My heavenly Father is merciful and gracious and wise and good. How much more certainty does one need??? I can see how God has prepared me for this journey by teaching me to trust in much smaller things through the years of learning to walk by faith. And by his grace I have come to deeply trust my heavenly Father to do what’s best."

WOW! What a blessing to be reared by such faithful and persevering parents. There really is nothing certain in this life. But what is most certain is that I am a redeemed daughter of the Most High God. And the precious fact is that my mother is too. Her final outcome in life is assured. She has been a sweet and selfless slave to her Savior all of her Christian days. She knows the truth that her faith is not something she merely embraced at a point in her past, but it is a daily act of laying down her life for the sake of His Kingdom, seeking to obey His Word...all of it, not simply the things that are easy or convenient. This is biblical womanhood. My most earnest prayer in this situation is that others will see her faithfulness and know that it is genuine, and in seeing that will recognize the absence of it in their own lives, causing them to examine what they are really living for. Living for success or love on this earth are of absolutely no eternal value. It is only to be a successful child of God and to know His perfect love that matter exclusively. It is common to say that true love means learning to love yourself. My mom loves herself least. We are born loving ourselves, always seeking to please self - we don't need to learn how to love ourselves better. We must learn to love ourselves less and love Christ most! Whatever happens in these days of uncertainty, it is His love alone that is always secure and certain.

Salvation comes...

These are the days of Elijah,
Declaring the word of the Lord;
And these are the days of your servant Moses,
Righteousness being restored;
And though these are days of great trials
Of famine and darkness and sword;
Still we are the voice in the desert, crying,
"Prepare ye the way of the Lord!"

Behold He comes riding on the clouds.
Shining like the sun, at the trumpet call.
Lift your voice; it's the year of jublilee;
Out of Zion's hill salvation comes.

Giving up control

Susan Hunt says, "The true woman is not afraid to place herself in a position of submission. She does not have to grasp; she does not have to control. Her fear dissolves in the light of God's covenant promise to be her God and to live with her. Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God."

I love to control things, situations, my time, people. I never realized just how much I love to control until I started to see my resistance to submission well up within me on several recent occasions. I considered myself to be pretty submissive, ready to do what is asked of me and usually with a joyful spirit. However, it's the little things that get me. An event or activity goes differently than I anticipated in my mind, I have to wait for an answer about something I have already planned out, or the future is unclear about a job, and for a single woman - the future is always unclear. The unmarried woman often wonders how she will be able to support herself as she ages, she contemplates the increasing responsibilities of life regarding her family as well as her own well-being. All of these things begin to reveal distinct opportunities to submit. Submit to parents, submit to spiritual leaders, employers, and to God's providence in general. These are the things that begin to uncover the mask of submission. My rebellion is exposed as I am called to do things I have already made determinations about. Things don't turn out how I planned or how I, in my prideful heart, think they should. It is here that I am reminded of Ms. Hunt's words. Whether I submit or not reveals whether or not I am fearful, whether I trust in God's goodness, and ultimately, whether I am submitting to Him. Lord, teach me to be submissive, in all things!

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Thankfulness

In recent days I have been reflecting on my tendencies to become discouraged by the difficulties of life. I have experienced the ups and downs of life's challenges, particularly spiritual challenges. It is so easy to become downcast, or even just numb to the realities of life because we are overcome at times by periods of profound discouragement. We then become so tired of it all, we seek out ways to just make it through the day, going through the motions and then we retreat to our homes or rooms hoping to escape it all. We stop engaging in meaningful conversations, we avoid having to deal with the ongoing challenges of our personal responsibilities and obligations because we just feel like throwing in the towel. I am writing this during a time in which I don't feel this way. However, God has been good to remind me in these days that a season like that is certainly only around the corner, as the ebb and flow of life always comes back around eventually to such a time.

So how do we deal with the times when circumstances overwhelm us? How do we build ourselves up, being mindful of the kind providences of God even amidst such difficult days? How do we press on even when nothing changes and we feel like things will never get better? Maybe it would be helpful first to ponder what we should not do. I may not know much, but I have learned in my own failures what does not work.

1) Escapism - pulling it together long enough to make it through the day or event and then coming home and just wanting to get away from it all. Instead of falling on my knees, taking the opportunity of my own discouragement as a means to draw near to the Lord over and over, pleading with Him to teach me and guide me through it, I look for ways to escape and not have to think about anything. For me sometimes this means I will look for almost anything to occupy my time so that I can avoid thinking about what's happening. I watch a movie, I go shopping, I even resort to cleaning:) Obviously none of these things are wrong, but one particular mercy of the Lord in my life these past couple of years is not having cable. Because of that alone, I have been forced on many occasions to sit down and let the Lord deal with me in my discouragement. I have had no choice, all other options have been eliminated - and I have ended up the better for it every time. I used to come home after a long day and just want to sit down and "chill" in front of the screen. But this never presses me on in allowing seasons of trial and discouragement to become a source of very precious refinement in the Lord. Piper calls this rampant trifling: "One of the great diseases of our day is trifling. The things with which most people spend most of their time are trivial. And what makes this a disease is that we were meant to live for magnificent causes. None of us is really content with the trivial pursuits of the world. Our souls will never be satisfied with trifles. We live in the Swiss village but stare at the wooden figurines in the window rather than lifting our eyes to the 'everlasting snows'. We live in a perpetual and hopeless struggle to satisfy our longings on trifles. So our souls shrivel. Our lives become trivial. And our capacity for magnificent causes and great worship dies."

2) Complaining - just drowning myself in the pities of my present circumstances. Sometimes I may not verbally complain in a way that brings others attention to it, but my countenance and my attitudes certainly evidence it. I withdraw from others - or at least from any meaningful discussions with them, I give a downcast and tired appearance, everything becomes just one more thing I have to do, causing people to think any request has now become an added burden. But I have clearly forgotten - has not God called me to "spend and be spent" as Paul was? I have noticed this tendency particularly in recent months while in graduate school, working full-time, tending to ministry responsibilities and so on. I end up complaining that I just never have time for myself or time to relax. Well, where do I find any argument in Scripture that teaches that I deserve breaks? Furthermore, in thinking this way, I have chosen to forget all the blessings God has given me. More on that further below...

3) Blameshifting - looking around at all the injustices being done against me, how people are not treating me the way I think they should be or even how I know biblically they should be. The problem here is that I am not looking to my responsibility in the matter at all. I am not seeing the dark days as a time to examine myself and really understand ways in which I am not being faithful to my calling and responsibilities in this life. I am so focused on what everyone else is doing wrong, I have overlooked what the Lord might be trying to prune me of.

So how should I respond instead?
1)Intentionally choosing gratitude and thankfulness. How often do I focus on all that is not going well, or all that I think is lacking in my life? How many times this year have I been able to go on vacations and weekend getaways to visit with special friends and family, had sweet times of fellowship with dear friends over dinner, been given a warm home to live in, a reliable car to drive, TIME to read the Bible and know God more intimately (which I often choose to forgo and instead entertain myself because I need to "escape reality"), a church in which there are many evidences of God's abundant presence in growing people, an income that does allow me to enjoy moments of fun and relaxation, health that has been sustained allowing me to not only carry on in this life but to do it to the fullest...the list goes on and on. But more than all those things...I have Christ! I am in a personal relationship with Him, having access to the graces of redemption!I have been freed from the damning shackles of sin and sent to do His work for His glory. It is all about Him and not about me.

2)Rejoicing in the role God has given me. He has chosen to use me, a piddly clay pot, and I am His slave. That means my life is not mine to dictate how it should go. My life belongs to Him and it is in Him that I find any meaning at all. When things don't look the way I think they should or how I would like for them to, I must remember that it is His purposes that are being accomplished in my life and the lives of those around me, in whatever ways He chooses to accomplish them.

Piper says, "The Bible is replete with instances of saints struggling with sunken spirits. Psalm 19:7 says,'The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul'. This is a clear admission that the soul of the saint sometimes needs to be revived. And if it needs to be revived, in a sense it was 'dead'. The soul of the 'man after God's own heart' needs to be restored. It was dying of thirst and ready to fall exhausted, but God led the soul to water and gave it life again. Faith in future grace takes the promises of God and throws them against despondency. The lesson of Gethsemane and Calvary and the book of Psalms is that all the dark caves of despondency are really tunnels leading to the fields of joy."

So, dear friend, if you are in a season of discouragement or despondency, take heart: the Lord your God is near to you, He is calling you to Himself even now, and you must flee to Him. Do not turn to the distractions of this world, do not sink into frustration and despair, but be thankful! Thank the Lord for allowing such a time to test and refine you for greater service to Him.

Again, from Piper, come these words of reflection: "God wants us to know that when we follow Him, our lives always mean more than we think they do. For the Christian there is always a connection between the ordinary [and even frustrating or disheartening] events of life and the stupendous work of God in history. Everything we do in obedience to God, no matter how small, is significant. It is part of a cosmic mosaic that God is painting to display the greatness of His power and wisdom to the world and to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places (Eph. 3:10). A deep satisfaction of the Christian life is that we are not given over to trifles. Serving a widowed mother-in-law, gleaning in a field, falling in love, having a baby - for the Christian these things are all connected to eternity. They are part of something so much bigger than they seem."

Painful and Precious...

In recent weeks I have been experiencing some very painful and yet deeply precious times of repentance and refinement from the Lord. I don't care to share specific details, because though I think it is helpful at times to be encouraged through the mass medium of technology - my walk with the Lord is a private one, one which can easily be distorted or misrepresented if given too much exposure. Suffice it to say, I have learned - several times in the past couple years - that when we pray specifically to be refined and for the Lord to use whatever circumstances that are necessary for our pruning, then He will be faithful to do so! Why am I then surprised at how painful they are? It should not be such a shock, for when we think of the pruning and care it takes to maintain a garden, it quickly becomes evident that the most painful and difficult part of the "job" produces the most generous crop.

A few months back, I started a fairly large garden with my mom and some friends. Needless to say, we were not very faithful to care for it or even to adequately prepare the soil - at least that is what we have surmised at this point. We tried to weed it a couple times a week, but it seemed that each time we went, there was an abundance of weeds. And we tried to protect it from the infestation of bugs, but we didn't want to put the potent, most radical forms of bug spray on it. Instead we tried to go organic and keep it all natural. Now it must be said that I am all for organic methods when possible; however, had we put on the strong stuff, we may have been able to salvage some plants...possibly. In a similar fashion, we often put on the least effective protectants against our sin. We merely put a light layer of protection on and we often fail to tend to our own hearts on a daily basis. If I examined my heart as intently and as frequently as I have these past several days all the time, every day - I am confident that I would be conquering sin with much greater effectiveness.

I have allowed the garden of my heart to be overgrown with weeds and have attempted to guard it with a faint salve instead of trusting God to protect it with the righteous merits of Christ. I have plugged away each day with my own humanistic labors of self-righteousness and prideful arrogance, thinking that I can control my own heart and manuever it in the right direction. Folly!

Oh, that I would simply love my dear Jesus and put all of my trust in Him! How often I am misguided by my own loveless heart and my own weakened faith. Samuel Rutherford, a great father of the faith, wrote:

His Great Love – Our Little Faith
I myself am in as sweet communion with Christ as a poor sinner can be. I am only pained that He has much beauty and loveliness, and I little love. He has great power and mercy, and I little faith. He has much light, and I poor eyesight. O that I would see Him in the sweetness of His love, and in His marriage-clothes, and were over head and ears in love with that princely one, Christ Jesus my Lord! Alas, my broken dish, my leaky bottle, can hold so little of Christ Jesus!

Help me, Lord Jesus!