Emotions and the Love of Christ as All-Satisfying...

Typical emotional struggles women face:
-Jealousy – thinking we deserved something more than the one who got it
-Irritability – using the excuse of our fatigue or PMS for failing to exercise self-control
-Depression – we want to wallow in our unhappiness, refusing comfort
-Loneliness – believing that God has not given us enough
-Self-pity – we doubt the goodness of God and become angry when we don’t get our way
-Impatience – thinking we know what is best and God’s timing is off somehow; refusing to see that maybe if He has not given something it might not be in His will
-Fear – seeking attention by saying we want others good opinion; lack of trust
-Worry, anxiety – we place limits on what God can do, thinking it’s not the right thing
-Guilt – refusing to receive mercy and forgiveness, confess to others rather than God
-Bitterness, unforgiveness – making others suffer unduly for what they have done

Speaking of these emotions, Brian Borgman says: “The unrelenting pain of unforgiveness, the short breaths of anxiety, the cancer of lust, the devastation of volcanic anger, the ravages of insane jealousy, the inescapable ruts that lead to strife and broken relationships, habitual patterns that drag one into depression all have one thing in common: they are related to our emotions.” A great preacher of the faith, Martyn Lloyd Jones, further clarifies the significance of our emotions, stating: “Indeed, I suppose that one of the greatest problems in our life in this world, not only for Christians, but for all people, is the right handling of our feelings and emotions. Oh, the havoc that is wrought and the tragedy, the misery and the wretchedness that are to be found in the world simply because people do not know how to handle their own feelings! Man is so constituted that the feelings are in this very prominent position, and indeed, there is a very good case for saying that perhaps the final thing which regeneration and the new birth do for us is just to put the mind and the emotions and the will in their right positions.”

We are often misled and confused by our emotions because we have not truly tapped the root of the problem. We are constantly treating the symptoms and not the disease itself. Here we can be in a sound Bible-teaching church, and yet as one author states, “fail to progress…certain sins cling like sap from an evergreen, while certain fruits of the Spirit barely dangle from the branch…we do not have a biblical understanding of our emotions, and therefore there is little or no biblical handling of our emotions.”

The right and proper handling of our emotions is what brings us to maturity. What is preventing us from this right understanding? I would submit that it is a lack of love for God, and a lack of true understanding of His love for us!

How do we understand our emotions? And how do we come to understand the love of Christ more clearly? What is it that we need to know about emotions? How do our emotions impact who we are and how we relate to others, as a Christian woman?

“We need a vision of human personhood that shows just why God made us with the minds and hearts that we have. We need to see the importance of cognition and emotion, of thinking and feeling, of truth and affections, to live out the Christian faith as God intends. We also need to understand the effects of sin on both our heads and our hearts. What is the relation between truth and feeling? How do I handle emotions of discouragement and despair? Is there a way that truth can affect emotions and emotions affect thinking? Can incorrect thinking bring emotional harm, just as sinful emotions can skew our thinking? Does God give guidance for us on these questions and others like them?” (Bruce Ware)

We want to see our emotions sanctified, conformed to the image of Christ. In order to do these things, our approach must be rooted entirely in the sufficiency of Scripture and a confidence in the grace and mercy of God. Jonathan Edwards said, “The nature of true religion consists in holy affections.” You will not find the answers in the world, or even in the typical Christian sphere that has been filled to overflowing with self-help books, positive thinking techniques, and psychological influences. We must discern between the biblical view of emotions and the wide-swinging pendulum of shallow interpretations of emotions. We cannot say emotions are of no significance at all, but also we cannot say that they cannot be helped or that we have no control over them. Both views are equally dangerous and stifling to the spiritual maturity of the woman seeking to live a life of biblical submission to God’s ways.

What are emotions? Brian Borgman says: “The emotions are an inherent part of what it means to be a person; they express the values and evaluations of a person and influence motives and conduct. The emotions are more than feelings; they tell us what we value and what we believe, producing desires and inclinations that affect our behavior. Emotions were given in order to energize behavior and were intended by God to be a catalyst for action.” And, as with everything, our emotions have been corrupted within us because of our sin nature. I would take this a step further by saying that our sinful interpretation and outflow of our emotions are rooted solely in pride – it is pride due to our own unbelief. Pride manifests itself when we selfishly believe that our fatigue or our misery over a difficult circumstance entitles us to fall into despondency, self-pity, complaining, bitterness, or a host of other emotional reactions to the God-ordained circumstances of our lives. It is pride because ultimately, we are refusing to rest in the promises of God! We are living the opposite of the way love is described in First Corinthians 13: “love…does not insist on its own way…it is not irritable or resentful…it bears…believes…hopes…endures” – living this way shows our immaturity in the faith, as evidenced further in verse 20: “do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking, be mature.” Our pride is always at work, convincing us that our emotions cannot be helped and that we must work through them or even express them in order to gain relief.

Our tendency is always toward idolatry – even the idolatry of others and their opinions or the idolatry of what we think would be best for our lives. We set about our plans, assuming that we are led by God, when really – oftentimes – have we not been led by our own hearts? Our own feelings and desires? NOTE – these can be good things, a ministry you are involved in, a precious and godly friendship, etc. – it is not the thing itself that is wrong, but your sinful attachment to it and your selfish clinging to it as something you must have. Ask yourself: what are your expectations? What is your agenda? How do your emotions and feelings often point to your personal agenda? More often than not, when we sincerely examine these matters, we will see that we have been seeking satisfaction in something (or things) other than Christ and His perfect love. We don’t trust that what He has ordained is best. We are like a child kicking against the providences before us. We seek to manipulate and maneuver by refusing to consider the sinful reliance we have placed on our emotions. Emotions expose our hearts as being for God or against Him, and they reflect goals that are either God’s or our own.

Here are some very practical ways in which you can learn to interpret and transform your emotions in a way that pleases God:
-Read and meditate on the emotions God has ordained as good and pleasing. Seek out ways to cultivate those biblical emotions. And when you do recognize a sinful emotion, such as anger or depression – use it as an opportunity to interrogate your heart! Ask yourself, what were you wanting in that situation that you didn’t get? What were you hoping in or placing your trust in that has now disappointed you? Confess that you were idolizing that thing or person and ask God to restore you to Himself.
-Speak truth back to yourself when you encounter sinful emotional responses. Do not continue to converse with yourself until you have consulted Scripture. Use that Scripture to speak to yourself about the truth of the situation. Use examples such as the apostle Paul, as a means of formulating a biblical response to sinful emotions. Paul responded to anxiety by rejoicing in the Lord (Phil. 4:4-6). Martin Luther said, “We must not judge by what we feel or by what we see before us. The word must be followed, and we must firmly hold that these truths are to be believed, not experienced; for to believe is not to experience. Not indeed that what we believe is never to be experienced but that faith is to precede experience. And the Word must be believed even when we feel and experience what differs entirely from the Word.”
-Remember your standing in Christ Jesus, and the love of the Father in sending His Son to redeem you from the pit. Ephesians 1:3-9 provides a vivid reminder of the great love that was bestowed upon the believer, which allows him to live resting in the promises of God. So our feelings really are a gift from God, to express His image, and to help us see our sinful remnants, forcing us to cling to His promises in faith. Change is only possible through His blood that was shed and through the indwelling presence and power of the Holy Spirit. Take your mind captive for Christ Jesus’ sake: 2 Corinthians 10:5.
-Ultimately, you were created in the image of God, which means you are a worshiper. Everyone worships something or someone, because as a creation of God, we were created as a spiritual, worshipful being. What are you worshiping? What is most important to you? These answers are certainly revealed in your emotions. Again, consider Jesus: “Jesus experienced all the damage that our sinful emotions could do, as rebellious people like us focused their rage and hostility on Him. Yet, He loves us and calls us to Himself. This is the primary thought that we must keep before our eyes as we press through our feelings to love and serve Him” (Fitzpatrick). Richard Baxter says: “Consider well of the office, the bloodshed, and the holy life of Christ – His office is to expiate sin, and to destroy it. His blood was shed for it: His life condemned it. Love Christ, and thou wilt hate that which caused His death. Love Him, and thou will be made more like Him.”