The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom

So today I have a day off from teaching, and what a fun day it is. I got to have a root canal this morning! Actually it went really well, just a little pain and fatiuge afterwards. When I woke up from resting a while ago, I thought I would watch a little TLC while eating lunch and was really discouraged by an advertisement I saw for a new program. It's going to be called: The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom and basically it's goal is to show women everywhere all that they have missed out on by staying home to care for their families instead of pursuing a flourishing career! Just the advertisements made me sick! Each week, several women will be given the opportunity to leave their home and families to go pursue what they would have done had their lives not been "interrupted" by having a family. They will go apprentice for a hugely famous chef, work in the fashion industry or other such glamorous positions. This is the kind of program that I can imagine many a housewife sitting down to watch while her children are napping, only finding herself to sit in regret about those very children and how they "stole" her opportunity to make it big and pursue her life dreams! This show looks to me like it will show everything that is wrong with our modern society's disregard for the noble and biblical pursuit of motherhood. It looks dangerous! I do not have a husband or children myself, however as a teacher, I sometimes witness the fruits of these "career women" and the neglect that I see in their children's character and well-being as they chase after selfish pursuits of business and even charitable work. While I fully understand that some women must work outside the home (my own mother had no choice but to have a full-time job throughout my childhood), I also see many women who are filling up their lives with all kinds of things, whether it be a job or ministry opportunities that take them away from their families, which then leave their children without the proper support and training necessary in this godless society. Don't get me wrong, I see many promising visions of motherhood when I look at the biblically grounded women in my church. This is not a blanket condemnation of every woman I observe. However, I often see children who are passed over by their moms (who believe they are pursuing a good thing) and who then slowly begin to show the lack of disciplined time spent amongst family. It breaks my heart to see this, particularly among women who have the ability to stay at home. And let's face it: more women have the ability to stay home than do. Our ability is determined by our willingness to sacrifice. When did our personal dreams and desires outweigh the scriptural mandate as mothers to raise worshippers of God? That is the primary purpose in having children, is it not? When my mother had to spend her days working while I was growing up, we were in the care of our grandparents, who were faithful believers. They spent hours investing in us through teaching, talking, working on projects, taking us to see God's creation. Today, most children whose mothers work are left with babysitters, nannies, or childcare workers. There is a vast decline in the biblical training of children, which is quite obvious when you observe our current world, even the Christian world. So what if our children can spout off catechisms, scripture verses and doctrinal statements? Can they practice the selfless acts of discipline by learning responsibility, being trained to care for the home, giving of time and resources for the sake of the Gospel and simply learning what self-denial is? How can a child learn to deny himself when he sees a mother who denies herself nothing?

Update

So many things have been going on in my life these days, so here is a post that will touch on several items! Firstly, I still have not been able to make a decision about graduate school. I am so tired at times of thinking about it, but I just don't have clarity or peace yet about how to move forward and I am so afraid I will make the wrong decision. A good friend gave me some kind "rebuke" this week by reminding me that if my deciding factor centers around simply finances, then I must not allow that to be the reason for my doubts. If I do, then I am not trusting in God's provision. I am trying to figure out: how do you have wisdom and discernment about your choices, carefully considering whether it is the best choice, and yet still place complete trust in the faithfulness of God to abundantly supply every need!?! These thoughts are obviously tainted by my sinful desire to have complete control over all areas of my life, and lacking the confidence at times that God will do what is best and right and most glorifying to Himself! But He has been good to remind me of that sin and to encourage me to press on in seeking Him. So I wait...

Secondly, I have really enjoyed some of God's providential blessings this past week in friendship and fellowship. I got to go to an Orlando Magic basketball game where they were actually playing my favorite childhood team, the Cleveland Cavaliers!!! The best part was the company, my friends Stephen and Elizabeth went with me. We had such sweet conversation and several good laughs. They have certainly been a source of encouragement and a kind answer to prayer from my great God! Then this weekend was our college ministry's Valentine banquet for the senior adults at my church. This was sadly my first year taking part without my dear friends, Pastor Tommy and Sarah. But again, how graciously God provides just what we need. Pastor Michael, Stephen and Elizabeth and I all had a great time planning this event together and the evening was truly special! Of course, nothing ever goes off without a hitch, but all was handled in true joy. We actually ran out of food with about ten guests still to serve, so that made for an interesting adjustment of calling Boston Market and running to get some extra items. It all came together though and was a perfect opportunity to practice what we preach about patience and mercy toward one another. I think the guests were so encouraged and I heard many just going on and on about how fantastic it was! I have never been so free of anxiety and just able to enjoy myself. God has really used the past five years in this ministry to continually break apart my selfish and worrisome habits and allowed me to experience a much more peaceful and quiet spirit.

Well, I have many other things to say and even some other links to blog about, but it must wait for another day. Enjoy the photos!

Lots happening...

There are so many things going on in my life right now and so many things that I would like to pass along to my friends, so I decided to just bullet-point them in summary:

This morning my pastor gave a wonderful sermon from II Corinthians 1:3-11, expounding on the theology of a Christians affliction. He discussed at length how many people are often confused by Paul's mention of believers idenitfying with Christ's suffering as if somehow His suffering was not complete without us. He even cross-referenced Colossians 1:24 where Paul said that he was "filling up what is lacking in Christ's affliction". My pastor explained the intent of Paul's words by stating that, "It's not the power of Christ's suffering, but the presentation of it." So Christ's suffering had enough power in and of itself, but it is further presented in how we live our lives amongst great tribulation and affliction.

Another thing I have really been thinking about lately, is how little we as Christian women really understand and embrace our calling to radical redeemed womanhood. My pastor of biblical guidance has brought this to my attention often, and the thoughts have multiplied in my head as I reflect on many women I have observed (including myself) who are able to SAY all the correct theologicial answers about biblical womanhood, but yet we daily fail to live according to God's radical call upon our lives. I have been reading and researching these matters deeply for a couple of months, and have been reminded time and time again to pray fervently for a revival amongst Christian women to be women of the Word, seeking to live under the shelter and protection of the godly male leaders God has providentially placed over us. We are so independent and so quick to make decisions without consulting these men, sometimes even assuming that because we may be "more spiritual" than some of them, that we then have the "right" to control our own lives without their input. This is such a tragic display of true womanhood. If we are to be a reflection of Christ and His bride, the Church, then we are desperately failing. In essence, we are saying we know better than God!

I must get down from my soapbox now. Of course these things are all shared only in the light of my own failures and sinful behaviors. God is using these observations as a penetrating reminder in my own life of the remaining flesh that is in me and how it must be continually addressed!

Check out this link...

I came across an amazingly encouraging link today on Carolyn McCulley's blog. She commented on an article by Susan Hunt on women mentoring youger women...a real challenge to us all! I would highly recommend checking it out. Go to:
http://www.moodymagazine.com/articles.php?action=view_article&id=725

Maybe when I have meditated on it this weekend I will try to post my thoughts. It's been a killer week. God has given me much to do:)

Who glorifies God because of you???

I just returned from a wonderful holiday in South Africa from Christmas to New Years. It was a really precious opportunity to be reunited with some special friends who are serving as missionaries in Mbazwana, an area in Zululand. They have been there ten months and will be coming back to the States the first part of March. Their son, Max, was a very special student of mine last year in the fourth grade and it has been a sweet encouragement to be a part of their ministry there. It was also a very meaningful time as I was reacquainted with friends I have made there on previous trips, like Zanele, Ntombenhle, and all the church families. Jeff preached several times, which was a huge blessing to my soul! I even found a verse for the year in one of his sermons. I had been praying that God would show me a special verse to meditate on for the new year. Jeff preached a phenomenal message about how God can use us to glorify Himself and focused on Galatians 1:24: "And they glorified God because of me". God has certainly gifted him as a teacher of the Word, and I was so deeply moved by the bold passion he had as he shared truth with the Zulu people. I pray their ministry will carry on even after they return home and that the people of Mbazwana will bear much fruit as a result of the work that has been done there. The photos don't really do it justice, but I will try to share more in the coming days.

Reunited...

So last week I was finally reunited with some of my best friends, Sarah and Tommy and their little sweetie Kiersten. I spent eight wonderful days in California, enjoying sweet fellowship and encouragement with them. It was sad to come back home to my normal life. Whenever you get to do something really exciting that you have been anticipating for so long, it just seems like such a let-down when it's over, even if what you are coming home to is good and pleasant as well. Here is a quick run-down of my activities in CA with my friends, with some pics added in to show just how special my time was while I was there.
1. Went to Grace Community Church in the AM & PM to hear John MacArthur preach!
2. Took a trip to the Los Angeles zoo where we enjoyed watching Kiersten take in all the animal sightings.
3. Ate Thanksgiving dinner with 30 strangers who we met through Tommy and Sarah's friends from church.
4. Met up with our other friend, Jeff in Malibu for dinner at this great Hawaiian restaurant on the beach. We also got to walk around Malibu and see some of the beauty of the gardens and surrounding beaches.
5. Sarah and I and the baby went to Hollywood one evening, saw the stars on the sidewalk, did some shopping, and ate at this fantastic sushi place.
6. Had some very insightful meetings at Masters College and even sat in on some Biblical Counseling classes. We will see where the Lord leads...
7. Traveled out to Torrence, CA to visit Jeff's church where he is helping establish a college ministry and had lunch with him and the pastor's family.
8. Enjoyed LOTS of quality time with my precious friends!

Carrying one another's burdens

This morning my pastor taught from Galatians 5 on carrying one anothers' burdens. He basically summarized what that does NOT mean and what that DOES mean. It was a very practical sermon, delivered in a very simple and compassionate manner, yet filled with doctrinal unity and rooted solely in Scripture and not a man's thoughts or ideas. Here is a brief synopsis:

1. How are Christians supposed to THINK about themselves and others? - vs. 5:26
Think of ourselves in HUMILITY! Conceit manifests itself in our actions, bringing about divisions within the body. "You who are spiritual" leads to the question: who determines whether I am spiritual? Well, the body of Christ should be affirming my spiritual maturity as they observe the character of my life. Do I see others as lower than myself? If so, then I am NOT spiritual! Remember too that this passage is addressed to "brothers" not the lost. Don't spend your time judging the lost!

2. How are Christians supposed to carry their load? - vs. 6:2
Bear other's burdens with them. What is the law of Christ? To love God first and your neighbor as yourself. Our closest friends ought to be our church family. Vs. 6:5 reminds us to be careful about how and who we assist in bearing burdens. When we have a load placed on us individually we ought to bear it if we can so that others can carry someone else's load. Don't be a spiritual leech, abusing the care of your brothers and sisters.

3. How should a Christian share? - vs. 6:6
Those who teach you should be cared for (pastors, teachers). Vs. 7 and 8 give a warning to check your motives for sowing. WHY are you sowing your life into this church? It is far worse to sow to the flesh than to not sow at all! And how should believers react to the weight of sowing? Vs. 9 and 10 remind us that there will be delays, sometimes LONG delays in our labor. We grow impatient in wanting to see results and growth, but "in due season" means the fruit will come in the exact time God has appointed!

Please remember, these are not my thoughts, but notes from my pastor's sermon. I hope they encourage you as you seek out opportunities to carry other's burdens and sow good fruits in the lives of those you love (or even those you don't feel so much love toward).

Special photos of my time in Rhode Island...

God's many blessings

So I just returned from visiting my sister and her family in Rhode Island this weekend. It was such a precious reminder of God's many blessings that are so unmerited and gracious toward His people. My niece, Adaline, is now eighteen months old and my nephew, Rory, is four months old. They are so beautiful and it is so neat to think that God has given me these sweet little lives to be forever connected to. Even if I never get to have children of my own, God has surpassed any hopes that I had by allowing me the privilege of being a part of these tiny hearts and minds. "No good thing does He withhold" takes on a special meaning these days. I got to spend three nights with my little ones, joyfully waking at 4am to the sound of a cry (all you mothers I am sure are thinking that certainly if I had to this every day like you all do, it might not be with so much excitement:) and rising early to breakfast and playtime. It was a beautiful fall weekend, with mild temperatures that allowed us to spend time playing in the yard. My sister and I even got to sneak out for some one-on-one time Saturday night after the babies went to bed. We did what all women love to do - SHOP! In all seriousness, I could not have asked for sweeter fellowship with my sister and I dearly love her. There is a tenderness and understanding that continues to grow between us as the years go by and I praise God for growing us in our friendship! Addy is so much fun right now. She actually says my name, "Messa" and tells me "Sit Messa" when she wants me to come on the floor and play with her or read to her. She is definitely a girl after my own heart, loving books a lot! We baked chocolate chip cookies together one afternoon and Addy got the flour on her face and just made it such fun! I also got lots of sweet hugs and kisses throughout the weekend, which made it very difficult for me to say goodbye. It truly was a gift from a great God, who is always faithful to provide opportunities for me to spend time with babies. They are such a treasure and I pray for their salvation, that God would grant these little ones eternal life!

Prayer needed

Over the next two months or so I am going to be making one of the most important decisions of my life, and I will be making it while in the midst of many other happenings. Lots of travel plans: first I hit Rhode Island this weekend to visit my sister and the babies; then I go to California for a week at Thanksgiving; and finally spend two weeks in South Africa for Christmas! Whew! I don't know how I will manage it all, but God has so faithfully provided the means for me to be able to visit some very special family and friends, as well as partake in ministry at Christmas. What a privilege and joy to spend Christmas away from the hustle and silliness of all the materialistic aspects of this ridiculously westernized holiday. It amazes me how all my students at school have been talking about Christmas since we started in August, they have been counting down the days and eagerly discussing and comparing all the items they have asked for from their moms and dads. I may tend toward a legalistic conservatism, but it frustrated me to see the amount of time and money and even mental energy that goes into this holiday. I anticipate being in Africa where the people are simply thankful to have a roof over their heads and just one meal a day. More on this later...